Android Market's Refund Period

Android Market used to be a wonderful place where you have a plethora of free apps for your phone and quite a big selection of paid apps starting from under 1 GBP to 20GBP and more. Something that I really liked about this market was that you could download and install an app, try it out and if it turned out that it was not suitable for you, you could uninstall it and get a full refund quite easily right from your phone. Within 24 hours.

Today I downloaded an app from the Android Market, noted the time as just after 10 AM and proceeded to check the app out. This was a lock screen app so I locked/unlocked my phone quite a few times to test it, and then suddenly realized that it was letting me unlock the phone without actually using the unlock slider. That's not what I wanted! So, I tested it a couple more times, confirmed that it didn't work and decided to return it.

Oh, I was in for a rude awakening! I uninstall the app but didn't get the "Uninstall & Refund" button, just "Uninstall". I didn't think much about it. But then, I checked my email and the "refund confirmation" email didn't arrive. Hmmm, curious!

I checked the email that was sent to me when I bought the app and in there was a link for the Refund Policy. I clicked that and suddenly was confronted with this text:

"You have 15 minutes from the time of download to return an application purchased through Android Market for a full refund."

15 minutes?!! Now that's what I call absolutely ridiculous! The 24-hour window for refund was reasonable, you could try out all kinds of apps in that time, even complex ones. 15 minutes is not nearly enough for anything like that. Of course, there are enraged Android users all over the world!

Much as I love Android and Google in general this is absolute bullshit!

Needless to say, I wouldn't be buying any more paid apps from the Android Market unless they have a trial version I can use first.

Rant over!

Addendum:
About the same time as when I wrote this post I sent the app developer an email stating the facts and saying that I am aware of the new refund period but I want a refund. I asked for their policy on the matter.

In response, a few hours later I got two emails. One from the Android Market telling me that my app purchase order had been cancelled. Second also, from the Market informing me that I was refunded in full for that purchase.

So, despite the 15-minute policy I got a no-quibble refund from the app developer company which makes me happy. It was not a big amount of money, it was just the principle of the thing. And I am happy to see that developers have good ethics and cooperative policies.

However, this doesn't change my decision to not buy any paid apps from the Android Market as long as the 15-minute refund period is not changed to something more reasonable. 

Just Another Day - Part 2

I don't want to leave my readers with a depressing picture of me moping around the house on my birthday, so an update is required.

while the reasons for me being sad and lonely yesterday were quite valid and real, by late afternoon I decided I had had enough of that. And I decided to try and cheer myself up.

Remember Barney? "When I am sad, I decide to stop being sad and be awesome instead! True Story!"

First good thing was that the phone I had ordered was going to be delivered today, but to my home address. I had been obsessing about it all day and tracking it on the web hoping they wouldn't try to deliver before I got home to sign for it. They did. But fortunately, instead of it going back to the depot, a nice neighbour signed for it. So I had it as soon as I got home. Step 1 done.

(If you are wondering, it's a Samsung Galaxy S2 and it's amazing!)

Once home, I called my Mum. And as I had said before my kids keep the spirit alive. So my Mum wished me right off the bat. Then I talked to the kids who had been bubbling to wish me and hoping I'd call. Then I talked to my brother as well. That took care of the homesickness, kind of. Step 2 done.

Then after my evening nap (remember I am still biphasic), I went out to the leisure centre with a couple of new colleagues/friends, who, by the way, are great! We watched The In-betweeners, a movie I had been planning to miss. But it was surprisingly good! I enjoyed it very much!

Then we played pool which I love especially now that I am getting a little better at it with all the practice I am getting. When we got hungry we faced Pizza Hut. But they were closing in 15 minutes. So we bought a couple of pizzas and used their outdoor tables to have ourselves a picnic dinner. With the weather so nice and cool, it was very good.

Then we played some more pool until they kicked us out at closing time. I got home past midnight,having used up every minute of my birthday time.

So, even though I started the day feeling sorry for myself, with help from friends and family I closed it on a higher note! Take from it what you will!

Just Another Day!

That's what I have been telling myself since this morning. But the emails and messages from friends and family kind of bely my attempts. Actually the messages started last evening, when it struck midnight in India.

Yes, for all of you who know from previous years, today is my birthday but I have not been feeling very celebratory. There are two big reasons for that - one, having lost my father just 3 months ago, I don't feel up to celebrating anything lately. Two, last birthday I was at home with my parents and my kids (yes, I mean my nephews and nieces) and my close friends. This year I am stuck in England far from home! I do have some new friends and I could go out and celebrate with them, but they don't know and I don't tell.

Well, that's the sad part. The good part is that my kids are growing up and they don't let anyone at home forget my birthday.:) Also,I have been getting emails, texts, IMs, Facebook messages etc. etc. from all over the world to wish me. Even in this melancholy mood I cannot help being thankful that I have been blessed with wonderful friends and a loving family. And that is something that gets better every year!

Today is also Janmashtmi in India. That, as you know, is the only day in the year when I fast. But not when I am not in India. Still Krishna is my role model (can you guess why?) and I am glad that his birthday has coincided with mine this year. :)

So, Happy Janmashtmi, everybody! :)

GiffGaff - A Shocking Mobile Network!

I have been meaning to write about this for a few days. I came across this mobile network last weekend. You see I was looking to buy the Samsung Galaxy SII and not finding any offers that looked really attractive. And during that research on one mobile network review website I saw this sidebar of a ranking of top mobile networks. I was quite shocked to see that the top ranking network was none of the big names but just an unknown contender called GiffGaff!

So, curious creature that I am, I did some more research into it and found that this is really a virtual network. Meaning that they don't have their own network infrastructure, they use O2's network. Apparently that's something that's done. More than one company do that but they are all companies. This network, GiffGaff, is like a co-op of mobile networks. They have a total of 16 employees!

Two things that attracted me to this network immediately. One, their rates were really, really good. For a tenner I could have 250 minutes, unlimited texts and unlimited internet. And their mobile internet is really unlimited, no fair use data policy! Two, people can actually earn cashback by providing customer services, posting in their forum and other things like that.

I ordered a free sim right away. But it took 5 working days to arrive. I got it last night when I got back from my weekend.

Right from the packaging you can see it's different. Unliked a big envelope filled with marketing material that you get from a major network, this was a simple, small envelope made out of a single sheet of paper. Inside was only the sim, nothing else, not even a single paper for marketing! Who does that!?

I activated mine immediately with a £10 top-up. But it was after 10PM so it was activated this morning. I checked the internet first and the speed was deliciously good! But I get good O2 signal where I have moved to.

So, finally here is a link where you can order a pre-paid sim (they don't do postpaid) from GiffGaff. It's an affiliate page which means that if you order and activate a sim, you and I both get £5 phone credit! In the spirit of fairness I should mention that you get the same credit even if you order a sim directly from their website, but if you order it from my link I also get £5 credit. Isn't that great! A network that treats people fairly, who would have thunk it?

https://giffgaff.com/orders/affiliate/sunnygoswami

Cowboys and Aliens - Quick Review

It's not a secret that I don't like Daniel Craig, part of it is the prejudice that comes from the fact that he replaced Pierce Brosnan as James Bond who I think was the most perfect Bond. But also I think Craig is an ugly boy pretending to be a ruggedly handsome man. But still I went to see this movie because I do like Harrison Ford and I knew this movie will be okay for watching once.

I was right. The plot is very basic, very sketchy. Aliens coming down in their flying machines and abducting people to study them. Also they are after gold, for whatever reason, not really explained in the movie. Craig is a cowboy with amnesia and an armgun. Btw, I don't like it that they couldn't come up with a name better than "armgun" for that cool weapon.

In short, there is some action in the film which is  worth watching, once. Nothing very remarkable, just action. The profound scenes are not really profound, emotional scenes fail mostly. The performance are fine, not a whole lot for them to do in there anyway.

Couple of sexy girls in there but not utilized well. There are quite a few chuckleworthy moments. That's all the comedy there is.

The redeeming feature of the whole film is that armgun which looks damn cool.

In conclusion, it's okay for a timepass if you like that sort of thing, but it's nothing remarkable. So if you decide to spend your Saturday afternoon with a good book, you won't lose anything. 

Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 - Ad Video

I haven't yet made up my mind if I want to have it or not, but I am intrigued by this new device (duh!) just considering whether it'd be useful for me given that I already own the 7 inch Tab.

Let's test your Hindi

So you think you know Hindi? Let's see how much....

What is this sign called...in HINDI!!

Another clue

NOW can you guess where I am... :D

Movie Review - Buddha Hoga Tera Baap - AB's still got it

To be honest, I was apprehensive about this movie, I could see from the trailers that the whole burden of carrying the movie was to be on Amitabh and sometimes that kind of thing fails miserably. Thankfully, not this time. The burden is indeed on AB's shoulders but he has proved that he is the original Coolie who can carry many such burdens with ease.

My most favourite thing about the film is AB's character. From the trailers I was expecting a formula film full of stereotypical scenes and typical Bollywood dialogue. I expected AB to be the archetypical gangster, an angry old men with guns ablazing and kicks flying. I was pleasantly surprised to see that his character had much more depth than that.

The film is still a formula film, but the story has been crafted cleverly around some good scenes. AB's character is deep and mature in addition to being strong and violent. There are several twists in the story, some small some big, but mostly unpredictable.

I really loved that AB's solution to all the problems is not fists and bullets. There are many of these problems - an obstinate father who wouldn't let his girl have a love marriage, eveteasing baddies, eavesdropping landlady, an old girlfriend, an amourous fan... AB handles each situation in a different way as it should be handled, always using his mind, his suave manner, his inner strength (sometimes outer strength too) and his charisma to solve problems. The last time I loved AB's on-screen character so much was in Mukaddar Ka Sikander. Well, I liked him in Cheeni Kum as well.

Other than AB, rest of the cast is quite good as well. I always like Hema Malini opposite AB. Raveena looks fine as AB's die-hard fan. Sonu Sood carries off the angry cop well. Sonal Chauhan is a beautiful girl and in the role she has, she does alright.

Dialogues are quite good and real-life. AB's dialogue "Main bullet se hi marunga, BP ya sugar se nahin." is quite good though weakened by over-exposure in the trailers. But we all know AB's dialogue delivery is amazing. Remember - "Main aaj bhi phenke hue paise nahin uthata!"?

The sequence where he does a parody of his own old songs is very filmy but I can see the public going wild on each of those songs in the theatre, he just has the presence and charisma.

I liked the climax. It doesn't drag on too long, has a mix of action and romance and doesn't resemble Disney stories. There's a minor discrepancy where they have taken artistic licence but I can't talk about it without giving things away, so let it be.

In conclusion, an entertaining film and unlike most recent films, it's one that can be watched again.

What is this place?

Guess where in the world have I gone to....hint, I am still in England.

Pyar Ka Punchnama - The Conclusion

I haven't watched it to the end so I won't do a full review. I just watched almost an hour of it then decided I had had enough.

It's not a bad movie, it's a simple story of 3 guys and the 3 girls who come in their lives. The story is quite true and very realistic. But the thing is it's too realistic. Anyone who has ever had a girlfriend or been married (poor chap) would feel like it's the story of his life. But why would you want to watch it?

Let me put it this way, if you have had a tooth extracted you know how painful that is. Would you watch somebody getting a tooth pulled out? The realistic version I mean, not the version with funny music instead of painful groans of the patient.

The conclusion - if you have never had a serious girlfriend in your life, definitely watch this to know what to expect. (It won't help you ONE BIT but you will know what to expect.). On the other hand if you have had a girlfriend or wife ever in your life, don't watch it!

The Shock of My Life

I have been off the blogging grid for about 2 months now. There was a reason.

On 16th May I got the biggest shock of my life when I suddenly lost my father. It was the biggest tragedy of my life and I was not capable of handling it. It was very unexpected which made it that much harder to handle. I think we never really absorb a shock like but with time its intensity reduces slightly.

My dad was a great person and I loved him very much. Losing him suddenly shook me to my core. I went to India for the last rites and with the support of my family and friends, I was somehow able to bear the shock and pain of it all.

I don't really want to say a lot about it for obvious reasons, but I want to get back into the blogging habit and even though I considered it I realized that I could not just roll past this huge incident without mentioning it. I mean this is the place where I mention even small things like my sleeping habits and my love for ice-cream, I could not go on and not mention this.

Anyway, I am back, I am here and you'll hear more from me in the near future.

My addiction can kick your addiction's ass

"Do you know they remove rust with that thing?", my colleague says incredulously
"So what, at least my insides will be rust-free. Rust is not a good thing you know?", was my flippant reply.

The topic under discussion was Diet Coke which my colleague couldn't believe that I even touched. An intelligent, sensible guy like me? Drinking Diet Coke? Ugh! That was the gist of his reaction.

And this same guy doesn't count 2 beers as drinking, actually he just doesn't like to count when he's drinking. I wondered what they remove with that!

The point I am trying to make is that none of us is free from addiction, though we do have our own choices and we think that those are okay while the rest of the world has gone mad.

Now that I have given up Diet Coke and all other sources of caffeine, (mostly because of my biphasic sleep) I don't understand how people can have those big glasses of strong coffee! And I have always wondered about how can  people smoke when there is a clear warning right on the pack! Even some doctors smoke! I mean, come on!

But I still eat sugar, love ice cream and oh chocolate..mmm, don't even ask me about chocolates! I don't drink alcohol at all and try not to judge the people who do drink.

The funny thing in all this is that while we all have our sinful addictions, we don't usually give them a second thought and are very quick to judge others who are also human like us.

Reminds me of an old joke,

A political leader is delivering a speech in a college and he says: "...so my dear students, you must resolve to stay pure and serve your country...repeat after me, you will not drink and smoke."

Students repeat: "We don't drink and smoke."

Leader: "Repeat after me, you will not gamble."

Students: "We will not gamble."

Leader: "You will not chase girls."

Student: "We will not chase girls."

Leader: "And you will give you life for your country."

One student: "Sure why not, what's left to live for anyway."

The whole point is that we need to find a balance between an addiction-riddled life and a meaningless existence. I am sure we are smart enough to figure out a way to enjoy life without ruining it completely with our weaknesses.

Think about it, having an icecream once a weak could be something you could live with but how can you tell your teenage son to not smoke when you smoke a packet a day?

There are harmless (less harmful) alternatives available for most of the common addictions these days, caffeine-free drinks, menthol cigarettes, non-alcoholic beverages...everything is there, but somehow because it's not sinful, it doesn't taste so good. I think we are tempted not by the actual product but its allure as a guilty pleasure.

Enough lecturing, let's finish with a sher:

ए शेख न कर इस तरह रिन्दों को नसीहत 

सब नेक बनेंगे तो खता कौन करेगा?

हम तेरे मिटाने से तो मिट जायेंगे लेकिन, 

फिर तेरी अदाओं पे मिटा कौन करेगा? 

शेख is teetotaller, रिंद is a kind of bad guy, addict, नसीहत of course, means advice.

The second sher has nothing to do with addiction but is one my favourite sher and belongs to the same ghazal so why not. :) 

Random Ghazal from my favourites

एक पल में एक सदी का मज़ा हम से पूछिए  

दो दिन की ज़िंदगी का मज़ा हम से पूछिए 

भूलें है रफ़्ता रफ़्ता उन्हें मुद्दतों में हम 

क़िस्तों मे ख़ुदकुशी का मज़ा हम से पूछिए 

आगाज़-ए-आशिक़ी का मज़ा आप जानिए

अंजाम-ए-आशिक़ी का मज़ा हम से पूछिए  

वो जान ही गये कि हमें उनसे प्यार है

आँखों की मुखबरी का मज़ा हम से पूछिए 

जलते दिलों मे जलते घरों जैसा ज़व कहाँ

सरकार रौशनी का मज़ा हम से पूछिए 

हँसने का शौक हम को भी था आप कि तरह 

हँसिए मगर हँसी का मज़ा हम से पूछिए 

हम तौबा कर के मर गए कब्ल अज़ल-ए-क़ुमार

तौहीन-ए-मैकशी का मज़ा हम से पूछिए  

Ice cream is life

I planned to write this post before but AH's post reminded me to do it now.

I have told you before I love ice cream and also shared the thought that "Life is like an ice cream, enjoy it before it melts."

But why do I say that Ice cream is life, or like life..here's why:

• * Ice cream doesn't have a real meaning, it's not part of a breakfast, lunch or dinner, but you can still eat it when you like. Just like life, if you go seeking its meaning you could spend centuries looking for it, yet if you want to enjoy it, it's right here, in this moment.
  
• * You must enjoy the ice cream as soon as you get it, you can't keep holding it hoping to eat it later, it'll melt. Just like life, if you don't live it right now, enjoy it in this moment, it'll pass you by.
  
• * It is possible to gulp down the ice cream without really tasting it. Very much like life, if you are too busy to notice it, you wouldn't really enjoy life even though you pass through it.
  
• * Ice cream is full of calories. And you think life isn't? Then why do people gain more weight as they age? :)
  
• * Ice cream comes in many flavours. So does life. And in both, different people have a liking for the different flavours and they claim that's the best.
  
• * Ice cream and life both taste more delicious when we share them with near and dear ones.
  
• * If you pay attention, each bite of ice cream tastes subtly different. Do I even need to say it? So does life, each moment is different and each moment is delicious.
  
• * If you eat it too quickly, ice cream gives you a headache, so does life.
  
• * Ice cream is a guilty pleasure. When done right, so is life. ;-)
  
• * Ice cream must be high quality for it to be enjoyable. Quality of life is equally important. 

I rest my case.

When you comment, do share what's your favourite flavour...of ice cream. 

Movie Review - As Good As It Gets

It's supposed to be a classic but I really hate these movies where you have been watching for a while but can't make out what the hell the movie is all about. The synopsis on IMDB says "A single mother/waitress, a misanthropic author, and a gay artist form an unlikely friendship". Based on that I'd NEVER have watched it, no matter how many academy awards it won. It won a few.

But two things made me watch it. One, it was a strong recommendation from a close friend. It's not like I trust her judgement in all films, but she is honest enough to say, "That's probably a chick flick you might not like that." so I have tried couple of her recommendations and so far they were working out, but this time... Two, it has Helen Hunt in the main lead who is one of my very favourite actresses. She's so cute and so real. I love her acting!

When you are 28 minutes into the movie and it hasn't started to make sense you start to wonder if that was the right decision to watch it. So, that's where I paused. But then, I also know a secret. I will tell you the secret and then your life will never be the same! Are you ready? Here we go. In EVERY movie... about 30 minutes in...something happens...something, that changes... everything!

After letting it stay on pause for a couple of hours I decided to give it a few more minutes.

Sure enough, the 30 minute rule worked, something happened, things started moving faster. And although I still suspect that this might be a chick flick I have to say, "Wow!" The way the plot unfolds piece by little piece, that is uncanny. No wonder it won the Best Screenplay award! I am not going to talk a lot about the actual events in the story because that would spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it. I must say though, that while each event feels like it's a small, tiny piece that has no meaning, everything moves in the same direction, every little piece contributes to the overall plot.

There is humour in the story, in the beginning when the dog pees on the floor I groaned, "Oh my god! Is it one of those?" But thankfully, it's not one of those. The humour in the movie is very good, very subtle and always embedded in drama so you laugh out loud even when there's no laugh track and there's nothing to indicate that it was comedy.

So, I laughed a few times, I felt welling up a few times and I had some "Wow!" moments. All in all, I don't regret making this choice and I would watch it again in the future. Director James L. Brooks has done an amazing job in filming it like real life, so simple, so down to earth and so professional. Outstanding job!

Performances are as expected, fantastic. All 3 lead actors won Academy awards, no surprise. Jack Nicholson, of course, has done a superlative job in the role of an obsessive-compulsive, misanthropic author. Helen Hunt as a single mother, waitress, beautiful, good-hearted girl has done a great job. Greg Kinnear has done fantastically well as a gay artist.

The only problem with this movie is that it's a very successful, well-known film, and being the kind of film it is most women would have already watched it. Had that not been the case there are a few dialogues that could be extremely useful with women. But...oh well! 

Recipe: Toasty Egg Pakode

If you tell me that I should leave sharing recipes to female bloggers I am gonna call you a sexist bastard and probably push you off a cliff, so just don't do it, ok? (Just kidding, I wouldn't push anybody off a cliff. I might poke though.) If this one goes well, I might share a couple more of my recipe ideas.

Not that this is a revolutionary recipe, but it just evolved out of my breakfast of fried egg and beans and I love it so much that I thought I'd share it with the world. The world that reads my blog, that is.

Without further ado, let's get into it.

Recipe: Toasty Egg Pakode
Cuisine: Eggitarian
Prep time: 0
Cooking time: 20 minutes
Serves: 1

Raw materials: 2 eggs (I use the very large variety), 30 gms. butter, 2 slices of white bread, seasonings, dips etc.

Process:
1. Melt a spoonful of butter in a non-stick pan on high heat. The 30 gms. is my guess, use about the same amount of butter as you do for frying an egg. I use the smallest hob on the stove for this.
2. Once the butter melts and the bubbles subside, turn the heat to about 40%.
3. Break an egg into the pan, making sure you don't use the centre but the rim so there's space for another egg in the pan. (And throw away the shells, ok?)
4. With a spatula poke some random holes in the egg as it starts cooking and break the yolk.
5. Now, break another egg into the same pan, keeping them both on opposite side of the pan. (Think football field.)
6. Break the yolk and poke holes in this second egg also.
7. As the first egg starts to solify and looking more white than clear, fold one corner of it over to the centre. Then the other corner. This would make it look kind of like a samosa.
Tip: If the corner you fold keeps rolling back flat, just hold it in the folded position with your spatula for a few seconds and it will stick.
8. Fold the second egg also the same way.
9. While the eggs are cooking put two slices of white bread into the toaster.
10. When the eggs get solid enough to be turned over, flip them over.
11. Toast the bread slices well to the point where they are red.
12. Butter the slices.
13. Cook the eggs well flipping them as you see fit, cook them on both sides to the point where they just start to get slightly red.
14. Take the eggs out and place one each on the buttered toast slices.
15. Sprinkle salt and ground black pepper on them as they say, "according to taste".
17. I serve them (to myself) with roasted garlic and herbs dip and a little bit of ketchup. Since I ran out of that dip, I have been using Domino's garlic and herbs dip. It works ok, if not that well.

The picture on the top shows you what they should look like. I took the picture myself the other day, so you know it's not an advertising photo.

Disclaimer: The photo has been photoshopped to make them look more delicious.

I like it because it has eggs, which are a source of protein, bread which is a source of fiber, the ketchup has vitamin C, black pepper is good throat if you have cold and good for the eyes generally. Calories, there would be some considering it's got butter and eggs but not too many.

Now, if you were reading properly, you'd ask, where are the baked beans in this? Well, that's what I was trying to get rid of, to not having to eat beans every day. And I achieved that. :)

I would be very interested to know if you try this recipe and how it turns out for you, and also if you make any tweaks or adjustments. Drop me a line.

Limitless - A good formula flick

As I say in the title it's a formula flick - the old "fountain of youth" formula. In this case the fountain is a clear pill that lets you access the whole 100% of your brain instead of the 20% you do now. I think the figures they quote in the film are wrong. There are two ways you use your brains, as a storage for memories and experiences and as a processing power. An average person uses about 10% of their brain, I use 12 and super-geniuses like Albert Einstein and Leonardo da Vinci used somewhere between 15-20%.

With that basic premise the story moves quickly and interestingly through more or less predictable plot points. I mean, the guy is a failed writer. As soon as he feels the power of the pill he will try to finish the book he's been sucking at writing, right? Then once he finishes that he will turn to the stock market to make some serious money. And then, of course, he'd be in the field of business, big mergers, changing direction of the fates of big corporations, that sort of stuff. It's common sense, and also inevitable unless you want to make your film a total crime thriller.

Director Neil Burger has kept the pace of the film quite swift and used cinematography imaginatively to show the various effects of the pill. He has mixed the business thriller part of the story with crime thriller part quite fluidly. The voice-over narration by the protagonist usually helps the audience with identifying with him and that has helped here, but I think if there's one thing where the movie lacks is that the identifying factor is not all that it could have been. In my view, that's because the story moves quite fast right from the beginning and bad things start to happen to the hero and that breaks the connection that's not yet fully established. But still, it's not a bad job.

In performances, Bradley Cooper has done very well. Abbie Cornish is adorable as Lindy. She's just so gorgeous! She has performed very well in her small role. Robert De Niro of course is a great actor and he has shown that once again. Performance-wise, I love the last scene where Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro come face to face and the performance levels go sky high there.

That's my favourite part of the movie as well, the climax. It's not too long and not too short, it ends on a positive note and leaves the audience with a good feeling.

There's a lack of humour in the film. Burger has kept it fast-paced, serious action with merely an opportunity for a smile here or there. The dialogue is quite witty and incisive but it's not funny.

Some of the plot twists are unpredictable and they make the story more interesting and you find yourself nodding, thinking, "Yes, that makes sense." Those "aha!" moments are where a great script differs from a run-of-the-mill crap.

Overall, a good film, worth watching. Not only for the action but the thought-provoking factor as well. What would YOU do if you had access to 100% of your brain? I like it also because it inspires me to do more with my brain, to achieve more in my life, even without the benefit of the clear pill. 

Battle: Los Angeles - Bad remake of ID4

"Bartender, I want an action film, something with lots of guns and planes and stuff."
"One alien invasion movie coming up!"

That's how director Jonathan Liebesman seems to have come up with this film Battle: Los Angeles. I had two reasons to watch this film, one I like formula films when they are well-directed. Two, I like the actor Aaron Eckhart since his film, "Thank You For Smoking" that was quite a challenging role he played and he did it very well.

Well, the movie let me down on both counts. It's professionally directed, but not well-directed. And Aaron has a typecast role which he carries off well but there's no challenge in it.

I believe that the story of a 2 hour film should not be so simple that it can be described in one sentence and this one can be. Here's my one-sentence summary of it - "A team of US Marines is sent to extract some civilians from an LA police station after aliens invade Earth in order to colonize it to take over her resources."

There are the usual character flaws and the plot twists, nothing special there. Actually, Jonathan has made a purely formula film and he has not taken full advantage of the formula even. One important ingredient missing was the "suits". You know when they zoom in on the pentagon then cut to the big board table, with all the big players watching things on screen...the secretary of state, the defence secretary, the president, and one general who has worked with the hero in the past. That creates a totally different kind of tension than the one where bullets are flying and bombs are blasting.

This director has replaced that with the news to appraise us, and the core team, of the progress of events. This has made the film quite one-dimensional and it feels like you are watching a video game. Actually video games these days have more involved plot lines than this.

Another bet he has missed is when it is reported that the aliens are powered by our water, but he makes no use of it to thwart them. The end of the film is quite inconclusive. There is no real sense of accomplishment, no end of the war kind of situation, where you finally exhale and say, good job, lads. Just a continuation of the fight done in a very lacklustre way and it sucks.

Even a bad movie has at least a few redeeming scenes and this movie has one. When Aaron rappels down from a chopper and his team joins him even though he told them to carry on, that's a good scene. Very brief, but good. But I wouldn't watch this movie again for that.

And I was reminded throughout of how this was a remake of Independence Day, and not a good one. Hence the title.

In a couple of places, I found myself second-guessing the director. For example in one place, the heroine (such as she is) makes a joke about doing a post-mortem on an alien body but the camera handling, or more likely the editing, kills the joke. I'd have done it differently.

In one shot, I could sense the presence of the crane camera and felt like I was watching the shooting rather than an actual scene from a film. I'd blame that on soundtrack and background score.

In a couple of places the background score is not suitable, but mostly it's fine for a formula film.

Conclusion: Overall, it's a film that you can easily miss, without losing anything, but if you get roped into watching it, you'd survive. 

Lock, Stock and Hera Pheri?

Sometimes I feel like grabbing some of the Bollywood people by the collar and giving them a good beating. I am not usually a violent man, but they do try my good nature.

This latest rant is the result of just having watched "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels". I realized that I might have liked the film if I hadn't already watched it before. in Hindi, as Phir Hera Pheri. Director Neeraj Vora (who has also taken credit as Writer, ha!) has lifted the plot right out of LS&2SM shamelessly and just added slapstick comedy to make it funny. Deplorable, despicable, dreadful!

Had it not been for having watched Phir Hera Pheri I think "Lock, Stock.." is a good film, quite professionally made, though it might not be my cup of tea. I like action films, but I don't usually like British style of comedy.

More reviews later. Proper reviews, not rants.