What resolution is your life?

I have been fortunate enough to live through a period of world history in which technology has gone from a child's play to science fiction level. I have seen the time when mobile phones didn't use to exist and to now when there is one in everyone's pocket. Every year there there are many new models and they fight over features like dogs over a bone. One feature that is usually hotly contested is the camera. Let's forget about the point what is a camera doing in something called a phone and just talk about the state of the art. 

The most popular part of the camera and its improved features is resolution. A quick sidebar to explain - every digital photo is made up of tiny dots which are called pixels. Resolution is just the notation to show how many of these pixels are there in a photo taken by a particular digital camera (phone camera or DSLR). For example 1920x1080 which is lovingly called Full HD or 1080p means that the photo has 1920 dots widthwise and 1080 dots along the height. The more pixels there are the smoother and "higher definition" the photo will be. 

While this is the most publicised metric in a camera, people argue that that's not the best or only measure of quality. There is camera sensor size, image processing software, the glass (a fancy way of saying lens) and a few other things that contribute to the quality of a photo. But I want to ask what is the "quality" of a photo? 

Exhibit A: look at this photo below. 

This photo was taken in the 1990s before google was a verb and youtube was not even in its mother's womb. The "three moustacheers" in the photo are Harry, Fazil and yours truly. This was a time in our life when we had finished high school (we went to the same school) and were doing college. We were trying to find our place in the world and searching for our guiding star. From this search we used to take time, maybe once or twice a week, to go on an evening walk to this park about 2 miles from our homes. 

Obviously, you can see how "bad" the photo is. It was taken on a film camera, degraded over time and then scanned into the computer. [Kudos to my nephew Sagar for preserving and emailing it to me.] 

Exhibit B: This is a picture from a Matheran trip (a 'hill' station in Maharashtra, India) with Bhuwnesh and his family. Bhuwnesh and I became friends in US out of necessity because we were the new people there and all the other Indian colleagues were already settled in their lives. Plus, we got along well despite being very different in personality. That's the reason we stayed in touch no matter how many times he or I changed cities and countries. 

This photo was taken in 2006 from an Olympus camera which was 1.3mega pixels. Don't laugh, that's the best I had then.  

I also have a lot of photos which are taken with good cameras in high resolution but don't mean half as much to me. 

Let's take an exception, exhibit C, taken in 2020: 

This is a high resolution photo taken with a proper DSLR last year. Given the condition the world was in when my nephew Sagar married his girlfriend Harsha, I had no chance to go to attend their wedding in Canada. Had it not been for the technology I could not have watched their wedding ceremony on a  video call and I would not have been able to see their smiling faces in the lovely photos. 

My point is not that "Old is always good". My point is that it's not the resolution in the camera that matters, it's the resolution of your life that matters. Surround yourself with people who enrich your life, guide your mind to thoughts that add meaning to your life and make sure that your actions and words enrich other people's life. That's the resolution that matters the most. 

Change is not the enemy

Change is the only thing constant in life. 

Not a novel thought but what I want to talk about is the type of change. As I see it, change is basically of two types - voluntary and involuntary. 

Let's take an example from the Marvel Cinematic Universe (I mean, why not?). It used to puzzle me that sometimes when Dr. Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk he is the machine of mass destruction. Then other times he is working side by side with the Avengers like they all went to the same high school and ate lunch at the nerds table for years. What gives? 

Thanks to the internet where you can find everything from a tiramisu recipe to the way to properly groom your dog, I found that Hulk's behaviour depends on the trigger that caused him to transform from Banner to Hulk. If he did it himself he was the well-behaved model citizen, but if something, usually an act of violence, forced him into becoming the Hulk then he could be mean as your mother-in-law after you tell her that her thanksgiving turkey was a bit dry. 

We may not have been exposed to a truckload of gamma radiation in our lives (I don't know about you, but I wasn't. In case, you are reading, Dr. Banner) but our response towards change is very similar. Maybe it's the old teacher in me or I just know how much you like examples but I feel like giving you an example. 

Take this case of old Timmy (Or John, or Dave, or Raj) whose girlfriend dumps him. That throws him into a pit of depression which takes a while to fix even after copious amounts of junk food and help from good friends. But if this same rascal dumped his girlfriend, he won't feel so sad. He might pretend to be upset about it, if he is a decent person, but he really won't be that sad. 

Similarly, if a person leaves a job to start his business or just change cities or whatever, they take it in their stride even if things are quite hard for a while. In contrast, if they get fired from the job, they don't like that so much. 

The main reason for the difference in our response, I think, is from anticipation and preparation. And, the sense of being in control. When you do something that brings a change in your life, even if it is a tough situation,  you are prepared for it and mentally ready to face the consequences. But if something is done to you which brings about the change in your life, it's a shock that you have to first absorb before you can deal with the actual, physical consequences. 

Sometimes the change that is "done to us" is not really so bad. That's where the expressions like "blessing in disguise", "silver lining" and "look on the bright side" come into play. Sometimes a change can be a mix of the two types like getting married. You decided to get married, that's what you "did" and then all the future changes are "done" to you by her will. Happy married life. 

My conclusion is that if we can keep this in mind that change is change no matter what type of trigger it had, maybe it will help us bounce back faster and deal with the change better. 

Having said that, how do you like the new layout of the blog? ;-) 

Grow up, will ya?

"Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional."

How true!

Recently, I have been thinking about growing old even more than usual. You see, after staying 39 for a loooong time, a whole 12 months, I finally turned 40 this year. Was I looking forward to it? Not really! Was I dreading it? Not really!

You see, I think growing old has some real benefits and in our pursuit of eternal youth we often disregard them. I had a teacher in primary school who used to tell us wonderful things which were not all to be found in the textbooks. In one of his discourses, he quoted - "Nobody is rich enough to buy his past."

True. But then people do try. I really dislike it when people talk about the "good old days" of childhood like it was a euphoric time with no problems. There are many songs and poems on the subject, one of the most popular ones being the famous ghazal sung by Jagjit Singh - "Ye daulat bhi le lo, ye shohrat bhi le lo."

[Translation: Take away my riches, my fame, even my youth I am willing to give up, if I could just have back the rainy season of my childhood, that paper boat and that rain water.]

Cool. Sounds good to hear. But I dislike the expression of these sentiments (I love the ghazal!) not just because I like to move against the tide but because my memory is better than these other people. I remember, and very vividly, that the childhood time was not a time of trouble-free Eutopia, it was a time of fun and misery as equally as today's time is full of hassles as well as pleasures.

I remember very clearly the problems I had. The prime problem was money, always. Even to buy a simple rubber ball I had to save 3 days of my allowance. Then second biggest problem as with everybody else - freedom. I had to follow the rules of my strict father. I wanted to play in the street until late night, he had some silly notions about study and homework. Guess who won!

In my teens, it frustrated me that all the grown ups, my parents especially, practiced a set of double standards towards me! When they needed me to do something it was always, "You are a big boy now so you can...." and when they wanted to deny me something, it was always "No, you are too young to do that!" Believe me, I protested against this discrimination much more vocally than Anna Hazare stood against the corruption. You think it had any effect? Ha!

I am not alone who suffered these slings and arrows of misfortune. But most people choose to forget these things and colour their childhood memories pink in their minds and wish for the return of that time. Well, in the words of Samuel Goldwyn - "Include me out!".

Now, let's tackle the present time. Leaving aside the whole physical progression I want to focus on the mental part of growing up. Money, oh yes, the same problems as childhood, but I make much more than I used to have and I understand it better and know how it affects my life. Freedom, within the law, a LOT! If I want to play a game all night Friday night and sleep until 1300 on Saturday, I don't have to ask anybody's permission.

I have much more confidence in anything I do and that makes it all the more probable that I'd succeed in whatever I do!

Simply taking all the things that make me happy or bring me pleasure, unlike my childhood, I have a huge choice.

When I was a boy, coming home early from school during exam days and having 4 extra hours to play in the street was heaven!  I don't care about that now. But imagine this. Just as I am going to bed I notice the Moon peeking in my window, it's a full Moon, or almost, and looks mesmerisingly beautiful! I can't resist and end up postponing the sleep, taking out the DSLR, setting it up on the tripod and taking some great shots with my telephoto lens (75-300, if it matters). Pure, unadulterated pleasure!

Now, if your mind works like I think it does you would argue that the problems of childhood were trifles compared to the problems a grown-up has to face. And I would say - bullshit! The real size of a problem never matters, it's only the subjective experience that matters!

"A hill is only as steep as it seems to the person climbing it!"

For a child losing the finger of his parent in the crowded market is just as panicky as for a grown up to find that his girlfriend of 3 years is leaving him for a job in another city. Can you honestly say that one of the problems is bigger than the other? Says who!

Another favourite ghazal of mine, also sung by Jagjit Singh, is
"Mujhko yaqeen hai, sach kehti thiiN jo bhi ammi kehti thiiN,
Jab mere bachpan ke din they, chaand mein pariyaan rehtii thiiN"

[I believe that what mother told me was all true.
In my childhood days, the fairies did used to live in the moon.]

I wanted to talk about all the things that have changed in me and the things I have learnt, but just giving the background has taken up so much space that I will need to be brief.

One of the things would sound like a riddle is that with age you learn to appreciate what the age means!

Patience definitely improves over the years and so does understanding. My yearning to learn new thing is still the same as it was so that is a constant rather than change. But my confidence in my learning abilities has increased and my learning abilities themselves.

People's perception of you also changes. Based on your age they may consider you "wise" even though you might say the same thing that you have been saying for the last 20 years!

Friendships ripen and you learn to appreciate them and also learn to let go where the letting go is mandated.

And persistence!! The capacity to plow along on one track without giving up definitely increases with age!

One thing that I do feel but know that it's an illusion. The feeling that my experience has taught me a great deal. I know that 5 years from now when I look at this post I am going to say, "What bilge I used to spout thinking myself so wise and smart!" But now I know that I will do this in 5 years's time. 10 years ago I wouldn't have known that. See?

The topic is big, so much to say and a lot of it that cannot be described. But I am very interested in hearing your thoughts on the topic. Do you think it's a downhill journey or some things get better with age?