Every Step Counts

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." -Confucius

I had a teacher who was very fond of saying "Rome wasn't built in a day."  They are comforting words when you feel like you are standing still while the world is rushing around you, everybody is achieving, things, becoming successful, getting ahead in life while you are...getting left behind. 

When you feel like that, think about the wisdom from Confucius. In a world where speed seems to be the ultimate measure of success, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. We are constantly bombarded with messages urging us to move faster, achieve more, and never settle. It’s in this high-speed chase that ' timeless words offer a different approach, a different mindset. 

This quote is a gentle reminder that progress isn’t always about speed. It’s about persistence and the determination to keep moving forward, no matter how slow the pace might seem. There’s a certain beauty in this perspective, one that values steady effort over frantic haste.

Think about it - how many times have you felt pressured to rush through tasks, only to end up making mistakes or feeling burnt out? The speed is NOT the sign of success, persistence is. It’s okay to take your time, to move at a pace that feels right for you. The key is not to stop, to keep pushing forward even if your steps are small.

Life is full of challenges and setbacks, but adopting a mindset of steady progress can make these obstacles feel less daunting. When you accept that it’s okay to move slowly, you give yourself the grace to navigate difficulties without the added pressure of unrealistic expectations.

Why did the Sunny cross the road?

 "Sunny, why do you spend all your money on travelling?"

Ah, that's a good one! I get asked this a lot by my friends, and every time my answer is pretty much the same - because travelling is life, mate! Seriously, think about it. We're here on this planet for, what, eighty-odd years if we're lucky? Why wouldn't you want to see as much of it as possible?

The Thrill of the Unknown

Travelling is like being a kid again. Remember the excitement of exploring new places, not knowing what's around the corner? That's what every trip feels like. Whether it's the chaotic streets of Bangkok or the tranquil fjords of Norway, there's always something unexpected waiting to blow you away. And let's be honest, life's too short for boring routine!

It's More Than Just Sightseeing

Sure, ticking off famous landmarks is great, but travelling is more about the experiences. It's about getting lost in a new city, trying food you can't pronounce, and meeting people who show you that there's more than one way to live this life. I mean, I've had my best conversations with strangers in tiny cafés and shared meals with families who didn't speak a word of English. It's those moments that stick with you, not the selfies in front of monuments. Sitting down on the floor in an airport halfway around the world to charge your dying phone is as much of an experience as walking in slush in falling snow in Salzburg to visit a Christmas market. I have done both and look back at them as fond memories. 

Growth and Perspective

Travel has this sneaky way of changing you. You start seeing things differently, appreciating the small stuff. Like, I used to stress over the smallest things, but after you've navigated a foreign country where you can't read the signs or understand the language, everything else seems manageable. Plus, it makes you realise how much we all have in common, no matter where we're from.

Depend on the Kindness of Strangers

A quote I read in a hotel room wall in Vienna has become my favourite travel quote - "Travel is hard; it makes us depend on the kindness of strangers." This is so true! When you're out of your comfort zone, you learn to trust and rely on people more. And you know what? Most of the time, people are genuinely kind and helpful. It's a humbling experience and reminds you that despite all the bad news we hear, there's a lot of good in the world.

Why I Blow My Savings on It

People often say I’m crazy for spending all my savings on travel. But think about it – money can always be earned back. Time? Not so much. When I'm old and grey, I want to look back and remember the adventures, the people, and the places, not the stuff I bought or the bills I paid. Plus, every trip is an investment in myself. It’s like adding layers to who I am, each place, each experience making me a better, more rounded person.

This is Living the Life

I get so many stories from my travels, some good, some of trouble, but all of them dear to me, especially after the fact. Travelling adds a lot more experience to my life than just doing the 9-5 existence. 

The Final Truth

So yeah, that's why I do it. Travelling isn't just a hobby; it's a way of life. It’s challenging, exhilarating, and incredibly rewarding. It's about growing, learning, and embracing the unknown. So next time you see me packing my bags, know that it's because I'm off to find the next great adventure. Life's too short to just live and die in one little corner of the world, I think. What do you think? 

The Double-edged Sword of Social Media

Social media has become this beast like keeping a tiger as a pet, it's cool, it's fun, but if things get out of hand....you are dinner! Social media is now an integral part of our lives, influencing how we communicate, consume information, and interact with the world. While it has numerous benefits, such as connecting people and fostering communities, it also presents significant challenges. 

What you must love

1. Connecting People Globally: Social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have bridged geographical gaps, allowing people to stay connected with friends and family worldwide. This global connectivity fosters cultural exchange and understanding, making the world feel smaller and more accessible.

2. Information and Awareness: Social media is a powerful tool for disseminating information rapidly. It plays a crucial role in raising awareness about social issues, mobilising support for causes, and providing real-time updates during emergencies. Movements like #BlackLivesMatter and #MeToo gained momentum through social media, highlighting its potential for driving social change.

3. Business and Marketing: For businesses, social media offers an unparalleled platform for marketing and brand engagement. Companies can reach their target audience more effectively, engage with customers, and build brand loyalty. Small businesses, in particular, benefit from the cost-effective advertising opportunities provided by social media.

What you can't avoid

1. Mental Health Concerns: Prolonged use of social media can lead to mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and loneliness. The constant comparison with others’ seemingly perfect lives can create feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. It's essential to recognise these signs and take breaks when needed.

2. Spread of Misinformation: One of the significant challenges of social media is the rapid spread of misinformation and fake news. This can lead to confusion, panic, and even harm, as seen during the COVID-19 pandemic. It's crucial to verify the information from credible sources before sharing it.

3. Privacy Issues: Social media platforms often require users to share personal information, which can be misused. Privacy concerns are prevalent, with data breaches and misuse of personal data becoming increasingly common. Users must be vigilant about their privacy settings and the information they share online.

Try to tame the tiger

1. Set Boundaries: Limit your screen time and set specific times for checking social media. This helps prevent addiction and ensures you have time for offline activities.

2. Curate Your Feed: Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you. Unfollow or mute accounts that cause stress or negativity. Your social media experience should be positive and enriching.

3. Verify Information: Always fact-check information before sharing it. Use credible sources and be wary of sensationalist headlines.

4. Engage Positively: Use social media to connect with loved ones, join communities that interest you, and support causes you care about. Positive engagement can enhance your social media experience.

5. Protect Your Privacy: Regularly review your privacy settings and be mindful of the personal information you share. Use strong passwords and enable two-factor authentication.

Social media is a double-edged sword, offering immense benefits while posing significant challenges. By being mindful of its impact on our mental health, verifying information, and protecting our privacy, we can harness its power for good. Let's embrace the positive aspects of social media, connect with others meaningfully, and use it as a tool for personal growth and social change.

Age should be respected, or...?

Just watched this deleted scene from Dear Zindagi. I can totally see why it was deleted. In a land where age is an automatic sign for wisdom and a demand draft for respect, this kind of scene with such hard-hitting dialogue will never be tolerated. 

Watch this scene and answer one simple question - Would you side with Alia in this scenario or would you shake your head with a disappointing look and mutter "Aaj kal ke bachche"? 

Source:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gkoxn6Nyijk

What resolution is your life?

I have been fortunate enough to live through a period of world history in which technology has gone from a child's play to science fiction level. I have seen the time when mobile phones didn't use to exist and to now when there is one in everyone's pocket. Every year there there are many new models and they fight over features like dogs over a bone. One feature that is usually hotly contested is the camera. Let's forget about the point what is a camera doing in something called a phone and just talk about the state of the art. 

The most popular part of the camera and its improved features is resolution. A quick sidebar to explain - every digital photo is made up of tiny dots which are called pixels. Resolution is just the notation to show how many of these pixels are there in a photo taken by a particular digital camera (phone camera or DSLR). For example 1920x1080 which is lovingly called Full HD or 1080p means that the photo has 1920 dots widthwise and 1080 dots along the height. The more pixels there are the smoother and "higher definition" the photo will be. 

While this is the most publicised metric in a camera, people argue that that's not the best or only measure of quality. There is camera sensor size, image processing software, the glass (a fancy way of saying lens) and a few other things that contribute to the quality of a photo. But I want to ask what is the "quality" of a photo? 

Exhibit A: look at this photo below. 

This photo was taken in the 1990s before google was a verb and youtube was not even in its mother's womb. The "three moustacheers" in the photo are Harry, Fazil and yours truly. This was a time in our life when we had finished high school (we went to the same school) and were doing college. We were trying to find our place in the world and searching for our guiding star. From this search we used to take time, maybe once or twice a week, to go on an evening walk to this park about 2 miles from our homes. 

Obviously, you can see how "bad" the photo is. It was taken on a film camera, degraded over time and then scanned into the computer. [Kudos to my nephew Sagar for preserving and emailing it to me.] 

Exhibit B: This is a picture from a Matheran trip (a 'hill' station in Maharashtra, India) with Bhuwnesh and his family. Bhuwnesh and I became friends in US out of necessity because we were the new people there and all the other Indian colleagues were already settled in their lives. Plus, we got along well despite being very different in personality. That's the reason we stayed in touch no matter how many times he or I changed cities and countries. 

This photo was taken in 2006 from an Olympus camera which was 1.3mega pixels. Don't laugh, that's the best I had then.  

I also have a lot of photos which are taken with good cameras in high resolution but don't mean half as much to me. 

Let's take an exception, exhibit C, taken in 2020: 

This is a high resolution photo taken with a proper DSLR last year. Given the condition the world was in when my nephew Sagar married his girlfriend Harsha, I had no chance to go to attend their wedding in Canada. Had it not been for the technology I could not have watched their wedding ceremony on a  video call and I would not have been able to see their smiling faces in the lovely photos. 

My point is not that "Old is always good". My point is that it's not the resolution in the camera that matters, it's the resolution of your life that matters. Surround yourself with people who enrich your life, guide your mind to thoughts that add meaning to your life and make sure that your actions and words enrich other people's life. That's the resolution that matters the most. 

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness. Not!

[Photo courtesy Cottonbro at Pexels.com]

There was a very popular example that my parents, teachers and other grown-up's used to overuse when I was a boy. "Even the dog wags its to tail to clean its spot before sitting down." Every single grown up used to love this example.  Any sign of laziness or untidiness spotted, and they would whip this out like the cowboy in the wild west whips out his six-shooter. 

If I were as much of a smartass then as I am now, I would have said "Yes, he does but he also runs around naked all day and drinks from the toilet. Will you please choose my role models more carefully, mom?" 

But I wasn't. But now I am. So, here I am to prove that cleanliness is NOT next to godliness, it's quite the opposite. Dirtiness is the godliness. What happens when a clean thing and a dirty thing come in contact? Who wins? The dirty. One rotten apple can ruin the whole basket but one good apple can't make a rotten apple good. What's more powerful?

And dirtiness is indestructible? When you are "cleaning" things, you are not cleaning anything, you are just transferring dirtiness from one place to another. Think of any activity where you are cleaning something, you will realise that you are making something else dirty. Dusting? You dirty the duster. You wash the duster. You make the water dirty that you wash it with. There is a whole cycle of dirtiness that's unbreakable and unescapable. Dirtiness like the soul is indestructible. "Nainam chhindanti shastrani..." Weapons cannot kill it and fire cannot burn it. 

What is the dirtiest topic in the world? Sex. But without it the human race could not survive or propagate. So, dirtiness is essential in this world. 

I hope I have made you feel better about not doing any cleaning this Easter weekend. 

Loved and Lost but Why?

Shakespeare has this famous quote (among his many quotes) "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Other than the general principle that having experienced something is better than not (not always true) have you ever wondered why it's better to have loved and lost? I will tell you. 

If you have never loved than you would not understand 100% of the world's songs, plays, music, TV shows, novels, stories and films. Okay, I might be exaggerating by about 1.7% but generally it is true that if you have loved, ever, you can understand how a character behaves, in real life or in a fictional world. No matter how stupidly a character behaves you would be able to understand why they are doing it. You may have done that exact stupid thing in your life when you were in love or maybe something even stupider. My money is on the latter. 

By having lived through that kind of intense emotional experience you can understand how someone can be so short-sighted, petty, jealous, insecure, unreasonable, illogical, or loyal, committed, determined, selfless and devoted. You may or may not agree with their logic, but you get it. 

These days I am totally in love with this Hindi TV show called "Mere Dad Ki Dulhan" (My Father's Bride). It's the story of a father and daughter - Amber Sharma and Niya Sharma. They lost her mother 8 years ago and now they have the most co-dependent, emotionally stunted co-existence two people ever had. After a few preliminary incidents, Niya becomes convinced that her father should marry again so that he can be happy and they can both be emotionally independent.

Varun Badola and Shweta Tiwari are in the title roles with Anjali Tatrari playing the daughter. Because of the star cast, you know right from the beginning what the end is going to be. But it's not in the destination, it's in the journey. And the journey of this show is delectable. The beginning episodes can be a bit frustrating because of so much fighting and emotional drama going on but there are quite a few good scenes and episodes in them also, and the show gets better and better as it progresses. I found it on Youtube and watched it all the way through. It took a three months' break when the Covid-19 lockdown hit India, but I found the show after it had already finished so I didn't have to wait for those three months. Those episodes have a lot of gaps because it's a Sony show and they cut out all the scenes where there was copyright music playing. Lots of editing jerks, noticeable. Fortunately, I found it on their website Sonyliv.com and now I am able to watch the full versions of the episodes. Yes, it's worth watching, again and again. 

So back to my point. There are many, oh so many scenes in the show where I scream "Amber Sharma, don't do that, man!" at the screen but even when I am telling him not to do something, I can understand why he is doing that or what he is feeling. I would not have known that if I had not felt and done similar things in my own life. Loved and lost.

I might do more posts on this show to discuss some of my favourite things from it. But I already highly recommend it. 

Blowing Your Own Horn

 Some things are so obviously good or bad that they become universally accepted as such. Like humility. 

In the Hindu epic Mahabharat there is an instance when Yudhishthir, eldest of the five brothers, tells his younger brother Arjun (who is the basically the hero of the whole piece) to put down his bow called Gaandeev (yes, they had names for all their bows, these superarchers) in the heat of the battle. Later Arjun is in distress because he had taken a vow to kill anyone who tells him to put his bow down. (Don't ask me why.)  

Lord Krishna who is friend, philosopher and guide to the five brothers comes to the rescue and tells Arjun to speak rudely to the elder brother because to use the word "thou" to an elder is equivalent to killing him. Ok, so that's what Arjun does. But then he wants to kill himself because he spoke rudely to his elder brother. Again, Krishna pitches in with great advice. He tells Arjun to praise himself because according to the Hindu scriptures he who praises himself is as good as dead. Crisis averted. 

This is how bad self-praise is in the Hindu culture. But then look at the Urdu culture. In Urdu poetry, a ghazal is not considered good poetry if it contains an element of "khud-shanaasi" which means self-praise. 

For years, this is what I used to deal from. But while it is good to have a modest, self-effacing outlook in life, (it's crucial for stand-up comedy), it doesn't go so hot in job interviews. I can't tell you how many job opportunities I have missed because I answered the questions from a realistic and more modest mindset. It took me a while but I finally understood that when I used a modesty scale to assess and portray myself in front of potential employers, my humility got transferred to them as fear that I would not match up with their requirement. Once I understood the problem, it was easy to implement the solution. I simply started answering the same questions with 110% confidence instead of my original dose of 80%. 

The moral of the story is - not everything is good and bad in clear contrast, you need to apply a grain of intelligence even before using a concept as inherently good as humility. 

The Time That Spends Us

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin

I have this movie I watch once every month. It's a Hindi movie called "Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani", translation "The craziness of youth" Youth as in the period of youth in life, not a young person. 

Yes, you did read it right, I watch it once every month. I have seen it more times than I can count. Why? No, it's not like one of those "It's a wonderful life" kind of movie that's a ritual for the world to watch. It's a purely commercial movie about a boy and a girl (aren't they all?). The basic premise is extremely simple - he wants to travel the world and do everything in one life, she wants a simple life. Of course, they fall in love, but at different times. 

Spoilers below if you haven't seen the movie but it came out in 2013 so you have had 8 years. 

There are many reasons to watch this movie so many times but one of the important ones is that every time I watch it, I see different things in it. Now spoilers. In the end, the hero decides to stay in India in order to marry the girl. I never agreed with that decision. I even have my favourite shot where I would end the movie if I were the director. No, I don't turn it off there, I still watch it fully every time. But I always think he's wrong. Ambition over marriage? Ha! Until now. Five seconds before starting this post I was thinking about this dialogue that he says to her when he's proposing. 

"Beet_ta waqt hai lekin kharch hum hote hain. Aur isse pehle ki main poora kharch ho jaoun, tere saath thoda waqt bitana chahta hoon."

[Translation: We don't spend the time, the time spends us. And before my balance runs out I want to spend some of that time with you. ]

Suddenly today it made sense to me. Spending time with a loved one can take precedence over travelling, job and even a lifelong dream. I still don't know if I agree with him but at least now I can see his viewpoint. 

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." The movie is always the same, every scene, every shot, every camera angle. That doesn't change. The reason I see different things in it every time is because I change. 

Do you have a loop movie that you watch as many times as possible? I can't be the only crazy person in this world. 

Change is not the enemy

Change is the only thing constant in life. 

Not a novel thought but what I want to talk about is the type of change. As I see it, change is basically of two types - voluntary and involuntary. 

Let's take an example from the Marvel Cinematic Universe (I mean, why not?). It used to puzzle me that sometimes when Dr. Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk he is the machine of mass destruction. Then other times he is working side by side with the Avengers like they all went to the same high school and ate lunch at the nerds table for years. What gives? 

Thanks to the internet where you can find everything from a tiramisu recipe to the way to properly groom your dog, I found that Hulk's behaviour depends on the trigger that caused him to transform from Banner to Hulk. If he did it himself he was the well-behaved model citizen, but if something, usually an act of violence, forced him into becoming the Hulk then he could be mean as your mother-in-law after you tell her that her thanksgiving turkey was a bit dry. 

We may not have been exposed to a truckload of gamma radiation in our lives (I don't know about you, but I wasn't. In case, you are reading, Dr. Banner) but our response towards change is very similar. Maybe it's the old teacher in me or I just know how much you like examples but I feel like giving you an example. 

Take this case of old Timmy (Or John, or Dave, or Raj) whose girlfriend dumps him. That throws him into a pit of depression which takes a while to fix even after copious amounts of junk food and help from good friends. But if this same rascal dumped his girlfriend, he won't feel so sad. He might pretend to be upset about it, if he is a decent person, but he really won't be that sad. 

Similarly, if a person leaves a job to start his business or just change cities or whatever, they take it in their stride even if things are quite hard for a while. In contrast, if they get fired from the job, they don't like that so much. 

The main reason for the difference in our response, I think, is from anticipation and preparation. And, the sense of being in control. When you do something that brings a change in your life, even if it is a tough situation,  you are prepared for it and mentally ready to face the consequences. But if something is done to you which brings about the change in your life, it's a shock that you have to first absorb before you can deal with the actual, physical consequences. 

Sometimes the change that is "done to us" is not really so bad. That's where the expressions like "blessing in disguise", "silver lining" and "look on the bright side" come into play. Sometimes a change can be a mix of the two types like getting married. You decided to get married, that's what you "did" and then all the future changes are "done" to you by her will. Happy married life. 

My conclusion is that if we can keep this in mind that change is change no matter what type of trigger it had, maybe it will help us bounce back faster and deal with the change better. 

Having said that, how do you like the new layout of the blog? ;-) 

Digital Detox - Digital Wellbeing

Saturday afternoon, on the long Easter weekend suddenly I realised I was spending way too much time on social media viz. Facebook and Whatsapp and more than that it was in meaningless, pointless activities. The main test of everything is how it makes you feel or how it makes your life better. This was making me feel stressed and angry AND it was not making my life better in any way.

Following from that logic, I could see the next action clearly. I closed the browser windows that had Facebook open, closed the Chrome app called Whatschrome which I use for interacting with Whatsapp messages on my computer, and uninstalled Whatsapp from my phone. Also uninstalled FB messenger from the phone.

By no means was I planning to make all this permanent, but I felt like the long weekend would be a good test to try it out and see how I felt.

The logic behind this is that if I feel the need to share something I could blog about it. If it was not important enough to warrant a blog post then it was not important enough to share. If I felt the need to read something, I have many books, both paper and electronic, in my reading list.

I also had interesting assignment work to do for my Uni assignments and there's always office work to catch up on if you really feel bored.

Now, what, you ask, was the result? The result was amazing. I never like those Ted talks or web articles where people say things like "I gave up social media and became a millionaire!" or "How I got my life back from social media." Well, you know the kind of things I mean.

I have always maintained that Facebook is not the problem, social media is not the problem, your habits are the problem. You can do whatever you want, nobody is forcing you, you have to take control. But remember that quote "The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken." My habits were getting to that point. Thankfully, I have a very stubborn personality.

Speaking of stubborn, a few hours after I closed Facebook I started getting notifications on my phone about things my friends had posted. Not things about me, not a photo of me, just things general things they had posted so that I would go and look at Facebook again. So, I had to uninstall Facebook.  I had already turned off all notifications from it but it was still doing it which I considered evil behaviour.

This was a weekend and a weekend during Coronavirus lockdown so I didn't have any obligation to be productive, but I still was. Productive, and creative. The increase in focus was phenomenal. Yes, I did feel the withdrawal, but as I said, strong, stubborn personality.

I had many, many thoughts that I wanted to post about on FB, but each time I asked - why? And each time the answer was, it doesn't matter. Another quote I love "Nothing matters very much. Very few things matter at all."

For communication, I still had my email. All my family and all my close friends have my phone number so I was available for emergencies.

Now, where do we go from here?

During these 3 days I wrote, I read, I watched movies, I did my homework, even did some office work. And I felt a physical lessening of mental stress. Like, seriously. I shit you not.

It follows that this is a good idea, just that this was an extreme case. I will need Whatsapp to talk to family, friends and classmates. I will even need FB to communicate with some friends or read my friends' updates. But it all doesn't have to be in a constant stream. I can and will regulate it keep it to the point where I don't have to silence 3 different devices before sitting down to meditate.

Google makes an app called Digital Wellbeing that helps you monitor and regulate your social media habits. I have just installed it and I am going to use it to control my social media as well as communications patterns.
Here is a link if you would like to try it as well:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.google.android.apps.wellbeing&hl=en_GB

Maybe I will report back in a couple of weeks to say how much it has helped me if it does.

Tonight, I am still enjoying the freedom. Tomorrow morning I will check back on Facebook and reinstall Whatsapp.

Have you ever felt the need to distance yourself from your digital habits? Would love to hear your thoughts. 

No News is Indeed Good News

I actioned this policy (see photo) almost 3 years ago in Feb 2017. I am happy to report that the policy worked brilliantly. I did not get depressed from the news any more even though I have a faint inkling that there might be things happening in the world.

The funny thing is that I didn't get depressed even during the last months of 2019 when I completely uprooted my life and moved across the country, and was stone-cold broke for a few months (still stoney broke but not cold).

That brings me to the conclusion that we (editorial 'we') get more depressed by the general news even more so than by the things that happen directly to us.

For those who may be interested I use a Chrome add-on called F.B. Purity to suppress the news, ads and other junk that Facebook itself pushes to the page alongside your news feed. For the actual posts shared by people in my friends list I simply unfollow the person if their posts contain news of the world.

The Bliss of Cubana

How many moments do you have in your life when you actually have that feeling of "bliss"? When you know you are happy and nothing exists outside of that moment?

I have had a few in my life and if you just muttered "Lucky duck!" you are absolutely right. One recent moment that I want to share with you happened a couple of months ago in "Cubana".

In case you don't know it, Cubana is a Tapas Bar in Sheffield. This is where I used to go for my dance classes. I learnt to dance salsa there, and also learnt to dance Kizomba. At one point it became such an integral part of my life that I could not imagine a Tuesday night without Kizomba at Cubana. If I started driving from my home without thinking about it, my car would drive to Cubana on autopilot!

Of course, I must give part of the credit to my dance teacher Richard Chongtham who taught the classes and DJ'ed the after-class socials. The Cubana provided a nice backdrop but Richard made it come alive with his classes and his music. The lovely people populating the dance floor helped a lot as well!

So, the moment. This was one of these Tuesday nights when I was there after the class enjoying the social. At this precise moment, I was plopped down on one of the sofas like it was own my living room and watching the dancers dance. I had had some dances already and I knew I would have some more soon. There were my lovely friends around me and my favourite DJ was playing Kizomba music (Shhh..don't tell Richard, he gets airs!)



At that moment if you had asked me to rank my life on the happiness scale, I would have put it at precisely 100%.

Now, Cubana and RCDance (Richard's company) are changing it up. Cubana will do something different on Tuesday nights and Richard will hold his classes someplace else. Nothing lasts forever in this ever changing world.

But I have the memories of the wonderful moments, that one and a lot more moments in Cubana. So, thanks to the Cubana management (they are genuinely nice people) and thanks to Richard. And, of course, to my dance family!



Here's to the moments of bliss and the people who contribute to them!

6 Lessons I Learnt From 9/11

Whether I like it or not on this day I am reminded of that day. I was in US, in Philadelphia, working in an American company. The news came as it happened and we watched as the horrific events unfolded. It was not a good day for humanity and I know it shook everybody's faith for a moment.

From the events of the 9/11 and the aftermath, I have a learnt a few lessons that I'd like to share with you.

1. Life is short, don't get stuck in trivial stuff.

2. We got through it as humans, we can get through anything with each other's help.

3. The best thing we can do is to be kind to others at every opportunity we get.

4. Things can always get worse, but that would be no life to live in the fear of that. Be thankful for what we have and be strong to face what we must.

5. Love and kindness should not be reserved for those related to you or close to you. There are so many stories from ground zero that show the value of kindness and compassion wherever it is needed.

6. Even horrors at this level cannot kill our humanity. We went on, and we will carry on.

Peace!

The Earworm Episode - The Big Bang Theory

Wow! What an episode! The Big Bang Theory season 9 episode 10.

Sheldon gets a song stuck in his head that he can't stop humming it but can't remember which song it is. The combination of these 2 things starts driving him crazy. It takes him more than half an episode to figure out which song it is.

Then he wonders why he had this song stuck in his head. The chain of reasoning takes him back to Amy and how she softened his life. This leads to Sheldon saying one of my most favourite romantic lines "She's like the dryer sheets of my heart."

I feel that that's an amazing way of thinking about a romantic partner, somebody who softens your life, someone who makes life more fun and who gives you the strength to face life's challenges. Love is the thing that makes you weak and strong at the same time!

The way they have written this episode, and how they have edited it - it is fantastic!

Also, the other man in the picture, the actor called "Stephen Merchant" (tall, British, Dave on screen) his role is so hilarious I was laughing out loud even when watching the episode a second time.

This is one of my very favourite episodes, my recommendation is - go and watch it again.

Generally speaking, the writers of TBBT are really good in writing fights and resolution scenes. There are so many that I can't name them all but see how they created then resolved the issue at the time of Leonard's marriage.

The Circle of Obvious Advice

I used to make fun of my dad for giving the same advice every time I travelled. I mean, come on, I was 'mature', I was not a kid anymore. For God's sake, I was going to another country for a professional job! How much more responsible and adult could I get?

But no, he would give the same advice every single time "Go carefully. Keep everything secure. Passports, visa, do you have your ticket?" etc. etc.

And today when two of my young friends are travelling from India across the globe I am so anxious to give the same advice "Do you have your passport? Visa? It will be crowded on the airport, don't drop anything. Be careful while taking photos. Have you packed your warm clothes?"

Very annoying, right? They are young only compared to me but they are mature and smart people in their own right. They are quite capable of taking care of themselves and bright enough to make their way for their success.

But this urge, this need to give the most obvious advice doesn't come from a logical place it's more of an emotional need. We say those things because we care about the person even if we they don't need that advice. When someone says "drive safe" it's not like you'd have driven into a telephone pole without their advice, it's that they care about you and would like to see you safe and happy.

All that preamble to say "Bon voyage" to my friends Harsha and Sagar! Take care, guys!

Safe paths and happy trails! 

Compassion Above All Else

I have done a post before about how sometimes I am conflicted when I like somebody whose work I admire but they are not a great person outside of their creative work. This post is the reverse of that.

While re-re-re-watching The Big Bang Theory, I came to season 8, episode 15. This is the episode in which Howard's mother, Mrs. Wolowitz, dies while she's visiting relatives in Florida.

You may or may not know but this event was inspired, or forced, by the real events. Actress Carol Ann Susi who used to play the part of Mrs. Wolowitz passed away and the show writers had to decide what to do about it in the show. Since Mrs. Wolowitz was never seen and only heard, it was considered that either Howard or Bernadette could do her voice.

What they finally decided to do endeared them to me a lot. They wrote her death in the show, and for the next couple of episodes gave tribute to her by having the characters talk about Mrs. Wolowitz.

Don't we all have that choice in life? The event might not be as big as a death but we get these choices multiple times a day when we can treat others with disdain or with compassion.

My point is that if a TV show can teach us that, and if the heartless, selfish people of Hollywood can teach us that, then that's a wonderful sign that humanity is alive and it's strong.

Whenever you have a choice - Be Kind!

Poem: Living in the moment

Poem: Living in the moment
by: Sunny Goswami

My life is made up of moments
I must live in each moment
and let it go as it passes.
I must die at the end of each moment
to be reborn in the next.

My sorrow and happiness
are all in the moment.

My joys are all here
with me, in the moment
I don't wait for them
I don't plan them
I don't anticipate them.

My happiness is not a star
on the calendar
It's a beat in my chest
it's the butterflies in my gut.
It's quickening of my pulse.

So, is my sorrow, of the moment.
I must absorb the pain
as wholeheartedly as the joy,
I must allow it to soak through my soul
and colour me in its colour
the dark red of agony
the blue of despair
the grey of loneliness.

I must drown in the deep pool of sadness
for that moment
And let it go as the moment passes.
To be open to the next moment
with whatever it brings.

What Means Christmas - Vlog Episode 3

I don't want you to miss out the cute stories so I am posting the link below:

You can't keep a good man down

I  am watching Gotham on Netflix these days. In small increments as it is a stressful show. Last week I got to the point where they assign the protagonist, Detective Jim Gordon, to the Arkham asylum. This is quite a step down for him - hard job, physical danger, and a disgraceful assignment.

But even then I was not much worried about it because I knew he would come back to his normal beat soon. And he did. He never stopped doing his best work even at that terrible job and he gave it his all even at the risk of his own health and life. Soon, he made his way back to his normal position in Homicide.

Thinking about it later, I realised that this is a common trend. Even when our beloved hero is in dire straits we never despair. When he's captured by his enemies, when he's under fire from his boss or being beaten up by goons we always know he will bounce back, maybe not in the next frame or next scene but ultimately he will.

If we know this about him, why don't we know this about us? We also go through difficult phases in life when it seems so bleak that we despair for ourselves. And we let it get us down. Why don't we have that same faith in ourselves - that in the TV serial of our life, we may be down now but in one episode or two, we will come back again. We will rise back to our previous glory and work our way up from there.

Because, be it cinema or life, you can't keep a good man (or woman) down.

Peace.