Movie Review: Hum Do Hamare Do - Rehne Do

*** Some spoilers in this review ***

While this is not a toxic movie or one which I would need to warn you against, it's not really a great movie either. It's bland like last night's pizza that you didn't bother to heat up. 

The story is extremely predictable which is not bad because you know this going in so there's no disappointment there. Performances are good by all actors.

From my point of view, there are two big issues which make this movie a bland snoozefest rather than a feel-good formula movie. 

One, the screenplay is bad. The story itself while predictable, is quite promising. It's the story of Dhruv who is an orphan and meets a girl who wants a family to marry into. He arranges a pair of fake parents to get her to marry him. From there, even a child of five years can tell you every single twist the story takes. 

As I said, I did not mind that, but I feel that the screenplay misses out a lot of good spots where nice moments could have been created. You might have heard the expression "It's not the destination but the journey." The filmmakers here have been in such a hurry to get to the destination that they missed out a chance to take the audience on an interesting journey. 

For example, Kriti Sanon and Rajkumar Rao's romance has been done at Shatabdi Express speed. They go from first meeting to falling in love to marriage proposal so fast that there is no opportunity to create some heartwarming romantic moments. You see, marriage and the hassles of marriage, the Indian people have that in their own lives. They go to the cinema to see the romance and to feel not just entertained but inspired. Nothing for them here. 

When Kriti comes to live with Rajkumar's family before the wedding, that situation while highly implausible, is ripe for many opportunities to create comedy, romance and drama. It has been completely wasted. Remember Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and the sweet moments between Madhuri and Salman? That's the kind of thing they could have created here but missed it entirely. 

Many occasions like the big reveal which could have been dramatic dyanmite proves to be Diwali's cracker because of the way they have been written and directed. 

The second issue the film has is its extremely weak dialogue. This is already a predicable, formula story but good dialogue could still make it entertaining and watchable. But the dialogues here are so boring and mundane that you feel like they were written by someone who writes phone directories. 

The scenes that could have been explosive drama are simply yesterday's kadhi-chawal because of the boring dialogue. Rajkumar Rao has tried very hard to bring some drama to such scenes and Kriti has supported him well but if the drama is not written in the screenplay you can't create it out of thin air even with great acting. 

Just like the rest of the movie, the climax is also rushed and does not feel realistic at all. The end is unrealistic and quite unjustified. 

My recommendation is that this is not a movie worth watching in the cinema at all. You can watch it on streaming while you are making dinner or ironing clothes. You would not watch it again that I can already guarantee you. 

The Time That Spends Us

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin

I have this movie I watch once every month. It's a Hindi movie called "Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani", translation "The craziness of youth" Youth as in the period of youth in life, not a young person. 

Yes, you did read it right, I watch it once every month. I have seen it more times than I can count. Why? No, it's not like one of those "It's a wonderful life" kind of movie that's a ritual for the world to watch. It's a purely commercial movie about a boy and a girl (aren't they all?). The basic premise is extremely simple - he wants to travel the world and do everything in one life, she wants a simple life. Of course, they fall in love, but at different times. 

Spoilers below if you haven't seen the movie but it came out in 2013 so you have had 8 years. 

There are many reasons to watch this movie so many times but one of the important ones is that every time I watch it, I see different things in it. Now spoilers. In the end, the hero decides to stay in India in order to marry the girl. I never agreed with that decision. I even have my favourite shot where I would end the movie if I were the director. No, I don't turn it off there, I still watch it fully every time. But I always think he's wrong. Ambition over marriage? Ha! Until now. Five seconds before starting this post I was thinking about this dialogue that he says to her when he's proposing. 

"Beet_ta waqt hai lekin kharch hum hote hain. Aur isse pehle ki main poora kharch ho jaoun, tere saath thoda waqt bitana chahta hoon."

[Translation: We don't spend the time, the time spends us. And before my balance runs out I want to spend some of that time with you. ]

Suddenly today it made sense to me. Spending time with a loved one can take precedence over travelling, job and even a lifelong dream. I still don't know if I agree with him but at least now I can see his viewpoint. 

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." The movie is always the same, every scene, every shot, every camera angle. That doesn't change. The reason I see different things in it every time is because I change. 

Do you have a loop movie that you watch as many times as possible? I can't be the only crazy person in this world. 

Zero - What an aptly titled movie

They have named it perfectly - Zero!

It gets zero stars from me on a scale of 10.  I tried to watch it properly, couldn't, so skimmed through it slowly hoping to some good scenes that might give me the traction to carry on watching. No such luck. It still seemed way too long and dragging.

The main star cast is also perfectly matched - Shah Rukh Khan, Katrina Kaif, Anushka Sharma. None of the three have ever tried to act and they match perfectly in this steaming pile of ....cringe-worthy scenes.

My one serious issue with it is that they have made Kat look ugly and repulsive in most of the scenes - on purpose. They have tried to show her as an alcoholic. Why would you take a beautiful girl and treat her like that? If you wanted acting you should have taken someone else. Katrina's beauty is her one plus point and they have subverted that. I take issue with that.

The scene shown on the poster (with Katrina in the slinky red gown) is not in the movie. Awful! In one or two scenes where she is not shown as a  lush she does look pretty.

It's no secret that I am not a big fan of SRK. But when the movie is good I would watch it and appreciate it despite him being in the lead role. Like KHNH or Dilwale, both entertaining movies.

"Short in stature but big on love, a bachelor meets two very different women who broaden his horizons and help him find purpose in life."

Whoever wrote this description of the movie should get all the creative prizes. He/she has made it sound a 1000% more amazing than it is.

If the Indian audience like this film, I'd say they deserve it and more crap like this that would follow!