Pressure of the Cooker

I was lying on the cot in the outside room which had a door open towards the street. My mind was blissfully empty of any productive thoughts when my mom came over to me from the street side “This one or this one?”

 “What?” I had to get up to see what she was on about “Wow, they are pressure cookers?”

 The two items she was holding looked like miniature versions of alien spaceships but in fact were pressure cookers. Not surprising then that they were the new Hawkins model – sleek black bodies with curves in the right places.

 “How much is this one?” I asked.

 “Five litres.” Mom said.

 “And this one?”

 “Two litres.” She said “Take this one.” She pushed the five litre one at me.

 “No, this is too big.” I objected “Two litre one is fine for me.”

 “Are you sure? Or come and see more. Pammi has more options.”

 Pammi is our neighbour, wonderful guy, worked in this kind of merchandise for years.

 “No, this is fine.”

 “It’s not too small?” Mom asked “What if you want to make pulav?”

 Have you ever noticed how mothers are obsessed with the eating? They feel like their kid is just going to starve himself to death if they don’t force the issue. But you can’t blame them, they have seen you in that phase when you used to prefer playing in the dirt to having a proper meal. Maybe you grew up, but she doesn’t believe it.

 “No, mom,” I declared “two litre is enough for pulav also. I need space in my suitcase to carry this.”

 And that was that. Two days later I flew back to UK with the pressure cooker safely wrapped in my clothes.

 That was twelve years ago.

 Since then I have kept this trusty little pressure cooker with me every time I moved. It has been doing a good job of feeding me well. Kind of like my mother. May be my mother made it promise before I left India. I have made pulav in it, and mutter-paneer, chana masala and lots of other dishes.

But then last week, while performing its duties on the hob it started leaking steam. I quickly guessed that the gasket was gone. I had a spare gasket (the rubber ring that seals the lid to the body) so it was no problem. Only I could not find it. It was in one of those “safe” places where you store everything. I have seen it 10,000 times when I didn’t need it but not now. So, I looked at the lid again. No, the gasket seemed fine. But there was a hole under the handle. Oh, that’s that thingy...er....yeah, the safety valve. Correct. That hole didn’t use to be there so obviously it was blown. Fine.

Normally, when something goes kaput I am happy because I can buy a new one. But this was a different case. I lost my mother eight years ago and this pressure cooker has been my connection with her even when she’s physically not in my life. Yes, I know, it’s stupid, but I am a sentimental fool.

These days everything is available on Amazon. The safety valve must be there as well. It was. I could buy a Hawkins safety valve for a couple of quid. Great. It arrived the next day. Out comes my toolbox (Yes, I have one, I am a macho man.). But the nut holding the valve would not budge. Well, as I mentioned, I am a macho man. I keep WD-40 in the house (machine oil). I took it out and sprayed some on both sides of the nut. After two applications and some wait, the nut moved, but now, it moved on both sides. Drat!

I tried holding the inside nut with pliers but it just slipped out of the grip. The message was clear, it was time to become super macho. I went on Amazon again and ordered a set of spanners. That arrived the next day. After that it was simply a matter of finding which one fit the nut. Using a spanner and the wrench I was able to get the safety valve off. Replacing it with the new valve was a piece of cake. Funny enough, the new valve was bigger and needed a bigger spanner but it fit perfectly in the hole left by the old valve in the cooker lid.

Once the replacement was in place, I put the handle back on. Then I put some water in the cooker and tested it. It worked perfectly.

So, what’s the moral of this story? Well, there isn’t one. Or may be we can say something about perseverance. Or you can’t solve everything by brute force, get the right tool for the job. Or don’t replace it, if you can fix it.

Do you like to replace things or tinker with them until they work?

 

[Note: The links in the post are affiliate links. They will not cost you any more but if you anything from those links it helps this blog.]  

 

Me: Bilingual

Warning: Strong language ahead

The other day I was cooking dinner and instead of using the microwave I decided to use the oven to make some nachos. It was a noble thought. 

I managed to cook them well then put the hot plate on the tray with an oven mitt taking the utmost care. Then being a professional numbnuts, 2.5 seconds later I moved that plate with my bare hand forgetting that it was burning hot. The plate, having a zero-tolerance policy towards all numbnuts, promptly burnt my fingers. It hurt. I screamed like a little girl. 

After yelling "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" for 37 seconds straight, I suddenly had an epiphany. Hey, I am bilingual!

Based on a story read long time ago, the language you use in times of emotional stress, that is, the language that you curse in, is your native language. So, now that I can curse both in Hindi and English when the chips are down, there is no denying the fact that I am bilingual. Hurray for me! 

Are you bilingual? I don't recommend my method of testing though. Save your skin, it's the only one you have. 

Peace!

Recipe: Toasty Egg Pakode

If you tell me that I should leave sharing recipes to female bloggers I am gonna call you a sexist bastard and probably push you off a cliff, so just don't do it, ok? (Just kidding, I wouldn't push anybody off a cliff. I might poke though.) If this one goes well, I might share a couple more of my recipe ideas.

Not that this is a revolutionary recipe, but it just evolved out of my breakfast of fried egg and beans and I love it so much that I thought I'd share it with the world. The world that reads my blog, that is.

Without further ado, let's get into it.

Recipe: Toasty Egg Pakode
Cuisine: Eggitarian
Prep time: 0
Cooking time: 20 minutes
Serves: 1

Raw materials: 2 eggs (I use the very large variety), 30 gms. butter, 2 slices of white bread, seasonings, dips etc.

Process:
1. Melt a spoonful of butter in a non-stick pan on high heat. The 30 gms. is my guess, use about the same amount of butter as you do for frying an egg. I use the smallest hob on the stove for this.
2. Once the butter melts and the bubbles subside, turn the heat to about 40%.
3. Break an egg into the pan, making sure you don't use the centre but the rim so there's space for another egg in the pan. (And throw away the shells, ok?)
4. With a spatula poke some random holes in the egg as it starts cooking and break the yolk.
5. Now, break another egg into the same pan, keeping them both on opposite side of the pan. (Think football field.)
6. Break the yolk and poke holes in this second egg also.
7. As the first egg starts to solify and looking more white than clear, fold one corner of it over to the centre. Then the other corner. This would make it look kind of like a samosa.
Tip: If the corner you fold keeps rolling back flat, just hold it in the folded position with your spatula for a few seconds and it will stick.
8. Fold the second egg also the same way.
9. While the eggs are cooking put two slices of white bread into the toaster.
10. When the eggs get solid enough to be turned over, flip them over.
11. Toast the bread slices well to the point where they are red.
12. Butter the slices.
13. Cook the eggs well flipping them as you see fit, cook them on both sides to the point where they just start to get slightly red.
14. Take the eggs out and place one each on the buttered toast slices.
15. Sprinkle salt and ground black pepper on them as they say, "according to taste".
17. I serve them (to myself) with roasted garlic and herbs dip and a little bit of ketchup. Since I ran out of that dip, I have been using Domino's garlic and herbs dip. It works ok, if not that well.

The picture on the top shows you what they should look like. I took the picture myself the other day, so you know it's not an advertising photo.

Disclaimer: The photo has been photoshopped to make them look more delicious.

I like it because it has eggs, which are a source of protein, bread which is a source of fiber, the ketchup has vitamin C, black pepper is good throat if you have cold and good for the eyes generally. Calories, there would be some considering it's got butter and eggs but not too many.

Now, if you were reading properly, you'd ask, where are the baked beans in this? Well, that's what I was trying to get rid of, to not having to eat beans every day. And I achieved that. :)

I would be very interested to know if you try this recipe and how it turns out for you, and also if you make any tweaks or adjustments. Drop me a line.

Cooking up something new

Would you believe I never learned to cook? Culture being what it is in India, boys are not obliged to learn to cook, and believe you me, I had no interest in learning to cook in the time I could go out and play in the street! :-)

So, long story short, when I got a chance to go work in the US, I took it, but soon found out that the US of A is not very kind to strange foreigners who have chosen to be, stupidly it seems, vegetarian. Since I was working for an Indian company, hence getting money enough to buy food but not 30 days in a month in a restaurant (Indian restaurants are really pricey, it seems all over the world.), the next option was ...you guessed it, cook!

Don't be silly, if I can't afford to eat out how can I afford to employ a cook? I meant cook not as in noun but as in verb..cook for myself. So, that's how I started to learn to cook, willy-nilly as one would say, cook or starve kind of situation. Still being the lazyass I am and a computeraddict on top of that, I spent over a year in US, cooking, on an average, about 3 times a week. Rest of time there were other options like microwaveable pizza or french fries.

Cut to 2006. I moved to UK. And immediately found out the brand names for readymade, microwaveable pizza. I spent about 6 months, on that pizza, rarely making pulao when the mood struck me but otherwise spending more time in front of the computer than the stove.

But then, I made a trip home, (you know about that right, last March?), and Indians express their love and affection through food. So, not only my mom was making my favorite dishes but cousin sisters, friend's wives trying to fill the void for Indian food created in 6 months, in 10 days.

The result was that as soon as I got back and tasted the readymade pizza again, I was like, "Wha...! You must be kidding me?! This is horrible!!". Well, I simply had to start cooking and I did, courtesy of the British stores that carry quite a good variety of Indian spices, cooking sauces, pickles and even real Basmati rice.

Cut to now. Recently I have started "enjoying" the cooking. No, I never had that attitude that cooking is women's job, but I did consider it something akin to magic that they could make such delicious food and seemingly so easily. I had started to learn by trying to make aloo-paranthas (hmmm, how to explain that, well, round items, like roti, but stuffed with mashed potatoes that have spices also mashed in. Does that help?). They used to be my favorite item, (ate a lot in Frankfurt) and I could make them even before I left India. But even if it was man's job or woman's job, it was not my job. I was mystified by how can someone cook. I know it doesn't stand to logic, maybe like a person who can ride a bicycle can never understand why someone else can't. Believe me I burnt rice so many times in US, I had a name for it.

From magic it turned to work, a chore to performed in order to eat.
But now, with the help of the British stores and their wonderful Indian-imported cooking sauces, I can make food that makes at least my mouth water. And I can eat it without having to stretch a point that it's my own work of art so I have to eat it. Now, I have started experimenting a bit, no, not to invent new dishes, just to try and make the dishes I have not tried yet. Nothing fancy, or even difficult, even a housewife will sniff at me calling that an experiment, but things that used to mystify me. Like recently I made peas n' potatoes, another one of my favorite dishes.

Moral of the story is that I have come to the conclusion that everybody, and by that I mean every boy, should learn how to cook. It is a wonderful ...sport? activity? skill? pastime?..??...and being able to feed yourself, adds a very important part in your personality. I am a little sorry, very little because I don't believe in wasting time being sorry about things that have already happened, that I did not start learning to cook before, but I am also very happy that I have started! My next plan is to make 'kheer', a dessert made of milk. Not difficult, but very delicious! Why is it a target? Because I am still a lazyass and making that will mean cooking another item on top of the usual dinner that I cook every day now! :-)