What resolution is your life?

I have been fortunate enough to live through a period of world history in which technology has gone from a child's play to science fiction level. I have seen the time when mobile phones didn't use to exist and to now when there is one in everyone's pocket. Every year there there are many new models and they fight over features like dogs over a bone. One feature that is usually hotly contested is the camera. Let's forget about the point what is a camera doing in something called a phone and just talk about the state of the art. 

The most popular part of the camera and its improved features is resolution. A quick sidebar to explain - every digital photo is made up of tiny dots which are called pixels. Resolution is just the notation to show how many of these pixels are there in a photo taken by a particular digital camera (phone camera or DSLR). For example 1920x1080 which is lovingly called Full HD or 1080p means that the photo has 1920 dots widthwise and 1080 dots along the height. The more pixels there are the smoother and "higher definition" the photo will be. 

While this is the most publicised metric in a camera, people argue that that's not the best or only measure of quality. There is camera sensor size, image processing software, the glass (a fancy way of saying lens) and a few other things that contribute to the quality of a photo. But I want to ask what is the "quality" of a photo? 

Exhibit A: look at this photo below. 

This photo was taken in the 1990s before google was a verb and youtube was not even in its mother's womb. The "three moustacheers" in the photo are Harry, Fazil and yours truly. This was a time in our life when we had finished high school (we went to the same school) and were doing college. We were trying to find our place in the world and searching for our guiding star. From this search we used to take time, maybe once or twice a week, to go on an evening walk to this park about 2 miles from our homes. 

Obviously, you can see how "bad" the photo is. It was taken on a film camera, degraded over time and then scanned into the computer. [Kudos to my nephew Sagar for preserving and emailing it to me.] 

Exhibit B: This is a picture from a Matheran trip (a 'hill' station in Maharashtra, India) with Bhuwnesh and his family. Bhuwnesh and I became friends in US out of necessity because we were the new people there and all the other Indian colleagues were already settled in their lives. Plus, we got along well despite being very different in personality. That's the reason we stayed in touch no matter how many times he or I changed cities and countries. 

This photo was taken in 2006 from an Olympus camera which was 1.3mega pixels. Don't laugh, that's the best I had then.  

I also have a lot of photos which are taken with good cameras in high resolution but don't mean half as much to me. 

Let's take an exception, exhibit C, taken in 2020: 

This is a high resolution photo taken with a proper DSLR last year. Given the condition the world was in when my nephew Sagar married his girlfriend Harsha, I had no chance to go to attend their wedding in Canada. Had it not been for the technology I could not have watched their wedding ceremony on a  video call and I would not have been able to see their smiling faces in the lovely photos. 

My point is not that "Old is always good". My point is that it's not the resolution in the camera that matters, it's the resolution of your life that matters. Surround yourself with people who enrich your life, guide your mind to thoughts that add meaning to your life and make sure that your actions and words enrich other people's life. That's the resolution that matters the most. 

Loved and Lost but Why?

Shakespeare has this famous quote (among his many quotes) "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Other than the general principle that having experienced something is better than not (not always true) have you ever wondered why it's better to have loved and lost? I will tell you. 

If you have never loved than you would not understand 100% of the world's songs, plays, music, TV shows, novels, stories and films. Okay, I might be exaggerating by about 1.7% but generally it is true that if you have loved, ever, you can understand how a character behaves, in real life or in a fictional world. No matter how stupidly a character behaves you would be able to understand why they are doing it. You may have done that exact stupid thing in your life when you were in love or maybe something even stupider. My money is on the latter. 

By having lived through that kind of intense emotional experience you can understand how someone can be so short-sighted, petty, jealous, insecure, unreasonable, illogical, or loyal, committed, determined, selfless and devoted. You may or may not agree with their logic, but you get it. 

These days I am totally in love with this Hindi TV show called "Mere Dad Ki Dulhan" (My Father's Bride). It's the story of a father and daughter - Amber Sharma and Niya Sharma. They lost her mother 8 years ago and now they have the most co-dependent, emotionally stunted co-existence two people ever had. After a few preliminary incidents, Niya becomes convinced that her father should marry again so that he can be happy and they can both be emotionally independent.

Varun Badola and Shweta Tiwari are in the title roles with Anjali Tatrari playing the daughter. Because of the star cast, you know right from the beginning what the end is going to be. But it's not in the destination, it's in the journey. And the journey of this show is delectable. The beginning episodes can be a bit frustrating because of so much fighting and emotional drama going on but there are quite a few good scenes and episodes in them also, and the show gets better and better as it progresses. I found it on Youtube and watched it all the way through. It took a three months' break when the Covid-19 lockdown hit India, but I found the show after it had already finished so I didn't have to wait for those three months. Those episodes have a lot of gaps because it's a Sony show and they cut out all the scenes where there was copyright music playing. Lots of editing jerks, noticeable. Fortunately, I found it on their website Sonyliv.com and now I am able to watch the full versions of the episodes. Yes, it's worth watching, again and again. 

So back to my point. There are many, oh so many scenes in the show where I scream "Amber Sharma, don't do that, man!" at the screen but even when I am telling him not to do something, I can understand why he is doing that or what he is feeling. I would not have known that if I had not felt and done similar things in my own life. Loved and lost.

I might do more posts on this show to discuss some of my favourite things from it. But I already highly recommend it. 

The Time That Spends Us

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin

I have this movie I watch once every month. It's a Hindi movie called "Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani", translation "The craziness of youth" Youth as in the period of youth in life, not a young person. 

Yes, you did read it right, I watch it once every month. I have seen it more times than I can count. Why? No, it's not like one of those "It's a wonderful life" kind of movie that's a ritual for the world to watch. It's a purely commercial movie about a boy and a girl (aren't they all?). The basic premise is extremely simple - he wants to travel the world and do everything in one life, she wants a simple life. Of course, they fall in love, but at different times. 

Spoilers below if you haven't seen the movie but it came out in 2013 so you have had 8 years. 

There are many reasons to watch this movie so many times but one of the important ones is that every time I watch it, I see different things in it. Now spoilers. In the end, the hero decides to stay in India in order to marry the girl. I never agreed with that decision. I even have my favourite shot where I would end the movie if I were the director. No, I don't turn it off there, I still watch it fully every time. But I always think he's wrong. Ambition over marriage? Ha! Until now. Five seconds before starting this post I was thinking about this dialogue that he says to her when he's proposing. 

"Beet_ta waqt hai lekin kharch hum hote hain. Aur isse pehle ki main poora kharch ho jaoun, tere saath thoda waqt bitana chahta hoon."

[Translation: We don't spend the time, the time spends us. And before my balance runs out I want to spend some of that time with you. ]

Suddenly today it made sense to me. Spending time with a loved one can take precedence over travelling, job and even a lifelong dream. I still don't know if I agree with him but at least now I can see his viewpoint. 

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." The movie is always the same, every scene, every shot, every camera angle. That doesn't change. The reason I see different things in it every time is because I change. 

Do you have a loop movie that you watch as many times as possible? I can't be the only crazy person in this world. 

The Circle of Obvious Advice

I used to make fun of my dad for giving the same advice every time I travelled. I mean, come on, I was 'mature', I was not a kid anymore. For God's sake, I was going to another country for a professional job! How much more responsible and adult could I get?

But no, he would give the same advice every single time "Go carefully. Keep everything secure. Passports, visa, do you have your ticket?" etc. etc.

And today when two of my young friends are travelling from India across the globe I am so anxious to give the same advice "Do you have your passport? Visa? It will be crowded on the airport, don't drop anything. Be careful while taking photos. Have you packed your warm clothes?"

Very annoying, right? They are young only compared to me but they are mature and smart people in their own right. They are quite capable of taking care of themselves and bright enough to make their way for their success.

But this urge, this need to give the most obvious advice doesn't come from a logical place it's more of an emotional need. We say those things because we care about the person even if we they don't need that advice. When someone says "drive safe" it's not like you'd have driven into a telephone pole without their advice, it's that they care about you and would like to see you safe and happy.

All that preamble to say "Bon voyage" to my friends Harsha and Sagar! Take care, guys!

Safe paths and happy trails! 

Why I love my smartphone!

Smartphones get a lot of flack. A lot.

"Phones are getting smart but people are getting dumber."
"Our phones are making us stupid."
"Remember the good old days when.."

These are just a few examples of crap people say about smartphones.

Keep in mind that anything taken to extremes can be bad including something so good as food, or a bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape. Or smartphones.

But if you don't take it to extremes, here are a few reasons why I love my smartphone.

"I love the internet, my friends live there."

That's true of the smartphone today. There was a time when I lived in US, I used to have to go through complicated procedures based on phone cards and landline to call my parents. From the smartphone not only did it become easier but also cheaper and I could have long conversations with my mum on absolutely nothing whenever I wanted.

With the fast internet connections and apps like Whatsapp my family can call me any time they want to talk to me.

No matter how much I hate Facebook it gives me a way to be involved in my kids' life and know what my friends are doing and thinking even when that thing is not crucial enough to warrant a call.

With the high-resolution camera, my phone lets me record wonderful things like a landscape on the way to work or a dance routine I want to review and remember later.

If I need to eat alone, and sometimes I do, my phone gives me multiple options for accompanying entertainment.

For my walks to the station my phones lets me listen to the music or an audiobook.

At work I have the option to watch a Youtube video and learn or amuse myself while I do some boring work.

It gives my friends an option to talk to me any time they want. And vice versa.

My smartphone removes the fear of driving to a new place with Google Maps being there all the time to guide me.

So, in short, my smartphone connects me with friends and family, helps me explore the world, amuses me, entertains me and informs me. I bet that's more than you can say about your wife.....and you love your wife, don't you? Well, let's not open that can of worms. Just suffice it to say I do love my smartphone and phoooey to anyone who dares to turn up her nose at it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

No, I am not going to go into a tirade about the phoniness of this "festival" or the conspiracy of the retailers, the mood I am in, I'd just say, life is but a fleeting moment, grasp any happiness that you can, by any excuse available to you.

Happy Valentine's Day!

We are all myrtyrs

जब दर्द नहीं था सीने में,
तब ख़ाक मज़ा था जीने में,
अब के शायद हम भी रोयें,
सावन के महीने में.

[Jab Dard nahin tha seene meiN,
Tab khaak maza tha jeene meiN,
Ab ke shaayad ham bhi royeiN,
Saawan ke maheene meiN. ]

Literally translated it means:
When there was no pain in the heart,
There was no fun in living,
Maybe this year I will also cry,
In the month of rain.

Yes, yes, rain is not a month, I know, but that's how the song is worded. Actually the word "Saawan" is the name of a lunar month and it coincides with July-August, bringing rain. Unlike western culture, rain is considered a romantic and welcome thing in Indian culture. So, rain reminds one of his/her mate and that in some situations brings sorrow. But this poet is actually looking forward to that seasonbecause now there is pain in his heart. Makes sense? No!

Even though, like a normal person, I have been in and out of love for like a million times, childhood crushes, teenage crushes, love affairs et. al. (I wonder if it can be called a love-affair if the girl doesn't know that you have a pair of binoculars trained on her window?), yet, there was a period in my life when I had none of these. Listening to a sad song on the radio, I realized that even the most recent romantic loss was not so recent that I could think of it with any sorrow. To my surprise, I found myself missing that feeling of missing someone. Not having someone to miss was also an emptyness just as much as not having someone to love. Idiotic, right?

Well, not really, otherwise old Bill wouldn't have said, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all!"

Pain and sorrow are as much part of our build-up as happiness. To tell you the truth most people feel safer and more secure in sorrow than in happiness. How many people do you know who are always happy and never complain about anything in their life? I don't know any. Including myself.

Of course, there is always something to complain about. Most of the pain or problems are real but some are imaginary also. But we really don't want to do away with all problems. What we want most, even more than solutions, is for the world (meaning our friends and loved ones and any strangers we meet) to recognize these problems and admire our strength and courage to continue living under such hardships.

Hari Shankar Parsai has written a short story about two very close friends, who share a room, and one night start talking about their horrible lives, they are really in bad shape, and struggling through life with each other's support. But when they start comparing misfortunes, it ends up in a bad fight. According to each one, he only has his sorrow, nothing else left in his life and the other one is trying to take that away from him.

I have done that myself, not written a short story but comparing of misfortunes and troubles. I have stopped doing that now, at least consciously.

But that positive thinking apart, there are things in life that make you sad. Real problems, real losses that can't be helped. Think about it, a dark room, and you, alone with your thoughts, thinking about that one thing that made you sad, perhaps shedding a well-deserved tear...no, I can't say that all sorrow is bad. It is what makes us human!

That's just my opinion and I ain't no enlightened soul. What do you think? Maybe I am talking through my hat?

Running in someone else's shoes

...he is running, unshaven, constantly on the road, looking behind, trying to shake the dual gun of terror, escaping the widespread net of FBI, trying to stay one jump ahead of the long arm of the law. But that's not all he has to think about, any moment a bullet from an unknown, unseen assassin's gun might fry his brains. Oh yes, the Mafia does not forgive!

...his eyes are darting left and right, looking for killers in shadows, his ears, straining, seeking any sounds that might mean danger, the cocking of a gun, the screech of tires, anything...

...he sees a phonebooth and jumps inside with the speed of a rabbit on the run from the carnivorous predators, and closes the door. Frantically he finds the right change, dials a number and ...

...starts explaining to his wife (or girlfriend) why he's not as bad a man as she thinks, he's framed, a victim of circumstances and his enemies!

At this point, I always think - What an IDIOT! The world is behind him trying to cut his life short and he is risking his life to make a phone call and for what? To try to convince a girl who doesn't even believe him? Pah! (This "Pah!" thing is growing on me, I must stop this).

Anyway, I have seen a lot of action movies and I have thought this thought many, many times. Until...

No, I never got chased by the FBI or threatened by the Mafia (so far the only threatening phone calls have been from my credit card company), but I have been in situations where a lot is at stake, money, career, reputation, professional prestige and amidst all that I was more worried about a certain girl and how things stand with her at this moment.

Our thoughts and emotions are not always evaluated and sorted as per order of importance to the world or our materialistic lives. They usually follow a pattern of importance to us, to our heart. When I used to write a diary on a daily basis (now it's more of a sporadic pattern), I usually ended it with UMTs - Upper Most Thoughts - jotting down whatever was on mind, right at the front.

Try it sometimes, just sit down and scribble your thoughts on a piece of paper, only one or two words to a thought. If you can, follow it up again, some time. Is there something or someone that keeps cropping up in those notes? You might be surprised! :-)

It's a sunny day here in rainville England so I am going biking. To the library. Cheers.

I can't live without you!

"I can't live without you!"

This is a typical line taken from 99% of the Hindi movies, it's a
standard part of the expression of love. Even in English movies.
It's a standard line, it's an oft-used line, it's a sincere line, but
it's not true!
Long time back when I was a teenager, I had a friend. At that age when
you are not allowed to travel too much, and don't have a big internet
circle (come on those were the 80's, and that was India), then the
friends who live on the same street mean a lot to you. This guy was a
little older than me and not considered good company in the eyes of my
parents. I didn't learn any bad habits in his company. I did learn to
read in his company. His dad's business was such that they used to get
a lot of second-hand books which I had full access to because of my
friend. But other than the free-books facility, he was a daily-meet
kind of friend and fun to be with. A cool kind of guy, you know. I
learnt a lot of things from him.
And then he moved away! The period just before his going away was one
of the saddest of my life. Till date. He was a close friend and a damn
good friend!
The last lesson that I learnt from him was not from him but from his
moving away. I had been dreading the time when I would not have him to
hang out with but I could not do anything about it! But then, after he
was really gone, I found that life still went on. Not only did I learn
to be happy without him but I did not miss him that much as time went
on.
That was my first lesson in life that people come and go but life goes on.
Yes, my point is that we can live without anyone. Even the ones that
we think we can't live without. My opinion is that it is better to be
the kind of person whocan live without anyone. Sure, the homo sapiens
is a social animal and sure we should learn to love and be loved but
we have to have that zest for life, that happiness within us. I forget
the source of the quote but I read one that said that we cannot rely
on our mate, present or any imaginary perfect someone, to make us
happy.
If you are able to live with yourself, not needing anyone, then you
have found that source of happiness, the fountain of youth, the stream
of life which makes you complete! Then you can easily share that
happiness, that flow of energy with anyone and everyone who comes in
contact with you. Then you don't have to worry that the other person
is not a 'special someone' or a friend or a family member. Then you
are like a stream of happiness, a source of love and life that anyone
can dip his hands into.
Then when you meet someone, that special someone, they will not
complete your life, they will make it overflow with joy!
On the other hand, if you 'cannot live without someone', that someone
being a particular person or one you are searching for, you are
accepting and thereby creating a void (,
read about it here Ontological Undecidability or more accurately Schrodinger's cat) in your life.
And when you are incomplete, your expectations from the other person
rise, and that may easily cause a relationship to fail or a search to
go unfinished.
In one of Seinfeld's stand-up comedy bits he was talking about those
advertisements that say, "If you watch just one movie this summer,
make it this one". He says, "I don't like the kind of pressure it puts
on this one movie. If I was going to watch 4 movies, this one has to
be as good as those 4."
He was joking but we are not joking when we want a lifetime of
happiness from one person, real or imaginary. We are putting too much
pressure on that one image, the one Mr. or Miss Right. That in itself
is a recipe for disaster.
The equation for interpersonal relationships that I like is the one
described by Stephen R. Covey in his book 7 habits of Highly Effective
People: 1 + 1 > 2.
You can live without them but living with them is added bonus, a
celebration of life, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! And
that, is worth searching for! :-)