My short film - Meet The Boss

[Cast and crew of Meet The Boss after the shooting.]

Have I mentioned before that I have been trying to learn how to make films by making short films? I think that's the best way to learn to make films, by making them. And now that I have mentioned it I will be free to tell you about my many adventures in the low-budget filmmaking field any time now.

Right now it's about one particular adventure, my film for the Reed film festival.

So, I have this group where people come together for the same purpose, learning filmmaking. The last time we had a meet it was on 11th March and a member mentioned that Reed.co.uk is hosting a film competition where people can send films up to 3-minutes in length. The theme given by Reed is "The Boss" and with that theme you are free to make any kind of film that you want.

That was all well and good but the deadline was exactly 2 weeks away on 25th March! I like to chase such close deadlines but going from concept to final cut in 14 days? Even for a 3 minute film it's a tall order.

But then Gianni took me aside and told me this little story that had happened to a friend of his. It was brilliant! I liked it from the start. Also, when you don't have a multi-million dollar budget, you always look for good stories that can be told without any special effects or exotic locations. This story was PERFECT for that.

And that's how we ended up making the fastest film we have ever made - 8 days from concept to rough cut!

And here is the output:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgvhgtqxKl8

We spent one week in pre-prod while our whole crew was working full time day jobs. No auditions, I knew the actor I wanted. We shot it in one single afternoon (Gianni and I co-directed) and edited that night and next morning. We had our rough cut by noon next day. We could have brought it to final cut the same day but we were shooting for another film from noon. That story some other time...

This is our film and we are proud of it! So feel free to share this film from this post or from YouTube as you like. :)

Ships in the night

"Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence."

Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Wadsworth_Longfellow I quote it here because I find this expression "Ships in the night" wistfully sad, it has an inherent romance in it. So I searched for it and the original is even more beautiful.

Your Personal Currency

As you know every country has its own currency that you can exchange (most times) from one to the other. There are exchange rates that govern the amount you get when you buy or sell a currency and these rates are very volatile, they change very quickly from day to and even during the day based on a lot of real life factors like what's going on in the two countries.

But just like the countries you also have your own personal currency - your smile.

I know you are counting on me to elaborate, and I won't disappoint you. :D

As any economist will tell you, it is not good for the economy if people hoard the currency. The more people spend the currency the better for the economy. Same thing applies to your smile, it does you no good to keep it in, it's always better if you distribute the smiles all around you. You are the walking talking ATM for this currency.

Not all currencies are the same and the same currency is not the same all the time. When you smile without really feeling it, it's like the currency that was devalued after last night's coup de etat. When you smile at seeing a loved one, it's like your country just elected a new president!

When a receptionist smiles at you, that's like she's handing you play money used by drama companies. It's printed on glossy paper and the colours are bright but it's not real money.

Then there was the shayar who said,

मेरी रूह की हकीकत मेरे आंसुओं से पूछो,
मेरा मजलिसी तबस्सुम मेरा तर्जुमा नहीं है.
(The truth of my soul you will find in my tears,
my public smile is not my reality.)

Obviously, he was passing on a counterfeit currency.

Now, some people think that this is a gold-backed currency. Meaning that if you have money and material comforts, you are happy, and when you are happy, you smile. That's not entirely true. This is in fact a fiat currency. You can keep passing on as many as you like without the value going down at all. It has been scientifically researched and established that if you smile it makes you a little happier than you were before, EVEN IF the smile had absolutely no valid reason behind it.

I dare you, try it right now, you just CANNOT think sad thoughts while your lips are curled in a smile, even when without any reason at all!

Just like the other currency the smile is also traded, exchanged and spent. Sometimes when you spend a smile you get a smile in return. This is foreign exchange. Now, unlike the other currency this is a PROFITABLE trade, for BOTH parties! Yes, this currency has its own rules of exchange.

Sometimes you spend a smile but don't get anything in return. This shows you invested in a dud economy. But according to the smile-economy laws, you don't lose anything in this trade. Giving it away for free is the MOST PROFITABLE trade in this currency.

By these rules, when you have no money, you are not broke. But if you have no smile to give another human, you are bankrupt!

So, keep smiling, it raises your face value!

10 Commandments of Google

1. Thou shall not Google thy neighbour's wife.
2. Where there is a Google, there is a way.
3. Google ye not lest thou thyself be Googled.
4. Boast not thyself of Google for thou knowest not what a search may bring forth.
5. Thou shall not eat an apple in public.
6. When in doubt, use Google.
7. Blessed are the Googlers for they shall inherit the Web.
8. Thou shall never use the plural of "job".
9. Thou shall not Google in vain.
10. Hey Google, forgive them for they know not what they search for.

[Sorry guys, the image is in Hindi, but it was too funny to pass up.]

Technomythology: 2050

"Baba, baba, tell us a story!"

My two favourite rascals in the whole world came running and plomped on the bed. Having uttered their demand in the first sentence they just settled down resting their chins on pillows and sat looking at me with those twinkly eyes that said they were not ready to move until they had heard a story.

I know when to give in...besides I knew how to keep these two amused.

I started, "Once upon a time, long, long ago.."

"Even before Google?" My fair-haired granddaughter interjected with her pixie face showing genuine astonishment.

I ruffled her hair which she combed with her fingers immediately, "Yes, sweetheart, even before Google."

"So once upon a time", I started again, "long, long, ago, even before Google, there was a time when computers lived in little boxes. There was a man who owned the search business and was called Billoo. Everybody went to him for search and respected his search Engine. You have to understand that in those days search was a symbol of status. The more time  your search took, the more respected you were by your peers. Why, elders in the city used to have searches that could run for several full SECONDS."

"Wow!" They opened their mouths in incredulous wonder.

"Then one day a new search Engine was created and it was called Google. People shunned it because it was too fast. But then it was discovered that the search Engine was created by the two men called Page and Brin.It was rumoured that they were incarnations of the deities Brahma and Vishnu."

I paused to look at their little faces, still rapt with attention.

"They vowed to destroy the Search Giant Billoo. But then suddenly one day a new demon stormed the cyberworld. His name was Applasur and he used a rotten apple as his symbol." I tried to convey the horror of the thing with my voice.

"There was a BIG war! And I mean BIIIGGG!! Applasur attacked the twin deities with ifonaban and ipadashastra. But the deities were strong. They built a big weapon Androidachromashastra that was both a weapon and a shield all in one.  Applasur threw new version after version of his weapons and many, many people became victims of his weapons. The deities were strong, they cast a spell upon their super-weapon...they said.."

May the SOURCE be with you!

They watched me with open-mouthed awe.

"Then what, baba?" My grandson asked breathlessly.

"Then...what always happens, the victory of good over evil...Applasur was destroyed by the deities and the people of Earth were blessed forever with good technokarma."

"That was bound to happen." my smartypants graddaughter proclaimed.

"Okay, now off to bed, you two."

..........................................................................................................................................................
As they exited their grandfather's room, her brother said. "That was a good question huh, even before Google?!" He imitated her voice.

She tittered, "Of course. I know when granddad begins to tell such big whoppers, that means the story is going to be good. He doesn't know our teacher already told us that Google always was, is and always will be. But the story was good, no?"

"Very true", he agreed then chuckled, "Computers in boxes...ha..ha..ha."

They ran off to their rooms.

Asus PadFone

This video made me say "Whoa!" as I was watching it. It's about 01:45 in the video. Make sure you watch the video before you read the whole article and you might say "Whoa!" too. Or may be you are the one to go for "Wow!"?

http://www.cultofandroid.com/5026/the-asus-padfone-to-be-available-this-april-mwc-2012/

Oh, btw, notice the domain name on that link. It's nice that we are finally getting our own cult. LOL.

Smartphone Marketshare in 2011 Q4

It is interesting to see that Android (50.9%) is doing more than double of iPhone (23.8%)

The full report here:
http://www.pocket-lint.com/news/44428/android-half-smartphone-market-q4

But don't forget the old dictum you can use statistics to prove just about anything. 

Why ipad2 sucks

The picture speaks for itself. Don't forget to shift-click on the image to enlarge it.


Compiled by: Investintech – PDF to Excel

Samsung Galaxy Note vs. iPhone - Street Challenge

This particular Samsung ad has pissed off a lot of Apple fanbois so I feel like I must post it. Make sure you read the comments from fanbois below the video, they are hilarious. I laughed out loud when I read how they were badmouthing the poor girl for not knowing that the iPhone could do these things, what these idiots forgot was that no iPhone ever came out a stylus so it definitely canNOT do any of those things. Enjoy. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2gjn12QS9I

At any cost

Here I was watching this film that had turned out to be surprisingly entertaining regardless of my low expectations and suddenly the girl beside me says, "Haw! How can he do that?"

The film was Desi Boyz and Akshay Kumar had just decided to be a gigolo in order to avoid losing his "son" (his deceased sister's son in fact), in the film. It was this decision that had made the girl in the next seat exclaim incredulously. I turned to her and wanted to correct her but refrained. Not because I didn't know the girl, I did, she was my friend. You don't think I would just correct any strange girl, do you? Well, actually I would. No, the reason I stopped was because it would take too long to explain and much as I like to lecture, I didn't want to miss the film.

So, my lucky readers, you get the lecture instead.

Here's the situation. Akshay loses his job, so he cannot take care of his son properly and misses a couple of payments on the school fees. He gets a warning that if he cannot come up with the money for the fees the child will be put up for adoption and put in foster care. This he cannot allow at any cost and tries very hard to get a job. The economy is very bad and he can't get a job despite all his efforts. And during this Sanjay Dutt, owner of a male escort service comes across Akshay and John Abraham and offers them employment. John only has a fiancee to take care of so he passes on the offer but Akshay is willing to go to any lengths to avoid losing his son and takes the job.

At this point my friend exclaimed, "How can he do that?"

This is the trouble with our thinking. Notice that I used a certain expression in that long paragraph. At any cost. It's very often that we want something badly and want to have it "at any cost". It's not very often that we really mean it. I am quoting from an old Hindi film dialogue, "When people say at any cost what they really mean is that they would like to have it at their own convenience at what they think they should pay for it."

In my own words, and I have repeated this many, many times, "When people say they want something, they just mean that they want to achieve that result, it doesn't mean they are willing to put in the hard work needed for those results."

When we want something we are vehement about it, "Oh yes, I want to save the child, at any cost!" But when it comes to paying the price for it, we are not so emphatic, "Um..you see...I can't really do that...it's against my...I can't do it."

When you want your friend to be there, it's, "Tere liye jaan haazir hai, yaar." (My life is yours.) But if the time comes when the friend does need you, "Yaar, tu to jaanta hai, main baal bachchon wala aadmi hoon." (Well, you see, I am a family man.)

Way of the world. But not just for others, for yourself too. So, if you ask me whether I think Akshay's character was right in taking up that dirty job in order to save the kid, my answer would be an emphatic YES. And I say this knowing the true nature of what a gigolo does, not the choreographed dancing and singing that is shown in the film.

His decision does turn out to be bad in the long run and even though he saves the kid for the time being, later he's hauled into court because of his job. Be that as it may, I still think he made the right decision. It was his decision at that moment and we always need to take a decision at the moment, not much later when all the essential facts become known. The human race survives by taking unreasonable and unexpected risks!

So when you want something, make up your mind, do it wholeheartedly or don't bitch about it. Put up or shut up as the expression goes.

How many Windows 32 (bit) or 64 (bit)?

These days I am editing a film (I'll tell you about it later) and I have been having problems. I used to think that running Second Life client was the most resource hungry thing to do on a laptop but now I found that video editing is the most resource hungry thing you can do on a computer.

So when I play an edited scene without rendering it, it moves slowly, skips frame or doesn't sync audio and video. Sometimes it just doesn't play until I render it first. Which can be annoying when you want to make a 1000 little changes and rendering every time disrupts the creative flow.

Like any other normal user (which I am usually not) I checked and re-checked my laptop specs. It's a Dell Studio 17 inch laptop with a 1GB Intel Radeon graphics card and 4GB RAM. The processor is Intel Core Duo with 2.53 GHz speed. In this world where tech specs change overnight, this is by far not the fastest machine not even in laptops. But it's a good spec. I like to change my laptop every year, but I have had this one for 2 years now because it's absolutely amazing. It suits me in every way including performance. Until now, that is.

I didn't really want to change the laptop just for this, for two reasons. One, I like this laptop as I said. And two, when I change I want to upgrade to a super-expensive Alienware model with astronomical specs. Which I can't afford right now.

But there are things you can do short of buying a new laptop. Like PCs you can upgrade a laptop's hardware too, in a limited way. I decided to upgrade the RAM. It already has 4GB installed in the form of two 2GB memory modules. It has only 2 memory slots (it's a laptop after all), so I could replace one 2GB module with a 4GB getting a total of 6 or replace both. I checked that memory is cheap from Dell, only 22 GBP for a 4GB RAM module. So, I decided to buy one and bring my total RAM to 6GB..except for one thing!

Every time I check the tech spec's by right clicking on My Computer and clicking Properties, it shows RAM as 4GB (2.99 GB available.) It's the figure in the bracket that puzzled and perplexed me. What do you mean 2.99 GB available, I asked it, have you loaned the other 1 gig to the neighbour or what? It didn't answer.

You can guess that I wouldn't leave it at just that. I escalated the matter. I called Chauhan Sir (remember Chauhan Sir?). He set me straight. This poor little computer is running on Windows 7, 32 bit version and as such is limited in its use of RAM. Even though the hardware has 4GB of RAM the OS can only utilize 3GB of it. How annoying!

My further course of action was like this. I copied a lot of data off to external USB hard drives and made more than 100+ GB of free space on both my internal drives. Then I downloaded Windows 8 Developer Preview and installed that.

Why Windows 8, you ask? Well, for one reason, I had been very curious about it for more than 2 months now and if I was going to rebuild my laptop I was going to take the chance to try it.

Windows 8 installed fine, quite fast and it looks cute, but I soon found out that it was not for me. For one thing, it looks more like something for tablets than a computer to work on. For another thing, it still uses only 3 GB of RAM out of the 4. Only one thing left to do.

No, I wasn't going to download Windows 8 64-bit version. I had already decided after 2 hours of exploration that Windows 8 is not for me, not in this incarnation and probably never.

But I had the Windows 7 DVD which contains both 32-bit and 64-bit versions. In fact, since my laptop is 64-bit architecture it had come installed with Windows 7 64-bit but I had downgraded it myself to 32-bit because not all my programs were available in 64-bit versions.

Now, I installed 64-bit with a view to having 2 OS on my system, one for video editing and a 32-bit boot partition for other things. Still, to be safe I downloaded something called Microsoft Virtual PC so I could run some 32-bit programs as well.

64-bit installed fine and is running well. Not only can I see the performance improvement in video editing but so far all my programs are running under 64-bit without Virtual PC. Fingers crossed for later. One thing that I could do with 64-bit was to install the latest version of Adobe Premiere Pro. Adobe, in their infinite wisdom (grrr!) have released their latest video editing suite Premiere Pro CS5 only in 64-bit flavour, so I had been using CS4 for my work. But now I can use CS5 64-bit, which looks and works the same except for one important difference.

Now I can use Adobe After Effects CS5 as well which has one new and very useful feature - the Rotobrush tool. More about that some other time.

So, this was the short (??) story of my Windows upgrade to 64-bit flavour. I hope you enjoyed it. Hehe.

Does this remind anybody of Apple?

A Funny Moment from Angoor

There are some things that are just too amazing for words. Like Hrishikesh Mukerjee. That one director could make so many really fantastic films is like a record in the Hindi cinema. One of his films is Angoor. The movie is based on Shakespeare's play "Comedy of Errors", no, it's not "inspired", Shakespeare has been given full credit for the story.

The story as you probably know is based on 2 pairs of twin brothers who separate when they are babies, one brother with his servant lives in one city while his twin brother lives in another city with the first servant's twin brother. When they are all grown up and middle-aged men, one brother visits the other's city with his servant. Both the masters have the same name - Ashok, both the servants have the same name - Bahadur. And the fun starts...

This 1983 movie is not just hilarious it's a gem of Hindi cinema. The beauty is not in the story or the suspense, the beauty is in the fact that each scene, each shot is so great that you cannot help enjoying yourself. The performances are fantastic, especially Sanjeev Kumar who won the Best Actor Filmfare award for this but others are just as good.

I have watched it so many times that I have lost count. Every time I start the film, just yoon hi to watch a scene or two to refresh myself I can't help but watch it to the end. Even if I have watched it last month or yesterday. It's just so easy to watch and so hard to stop in the middle.

The scene I have posted here is amazing because of its simplicity. I don't think this kind of detail was written by Shakespeare but the film has many, many such moments. I just can't praise it enough. I think if I were stuck on a desert island. I would want this movie with me. (And a portable media player and lots of batteries of course ;) )

I hope you enjoy the scene, I didn't do any hard work in selecting it, the film is FULL of such amazingly simple but really hilarious scenes. 

iPhone has the *bang* factor - Exploding iPhones

I have to admit, none of my Android phones have ever had this feature. A phone that overheats, melts, develops a red glow and sometimes even explodes. Fantastic way to capture the limelight, don't you think?

And if it happens aboard a flight, you can be sure everybody will be looking at you, just hope that the Marshall on the plane doesn't wrestle the poor passenger to the ground thinking him a dangerous element.

Here's the story by our own Daily Mail in the UK.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2068638/Ayla-Motas-iPhone-explodes-Device-emits-smoke-sparks-charging.html

Most iPhone users are not taking the threat seriously that it's possible that it might explode while they are using it next to their face. If it were up to me, I would be very afraid seeing how I am a coward and I have only one face.

Here's a video. This one looks like it's not staged. The poor guy seems to be making a video of his house covering each room when his iPhone suddenly explodes. I'd rate this as PG13, it contains some strong language.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RODLum5RfnI

Update: I don't like to hoax my readers and I don't like to use fake evidence to make my point. Therefore, in the interest of full disclosure...I have examined that video I had posted in much detail and there's a 50-50 chance that it may be fake. Just before the explosion, on the very left corner of the frame the sparks that come out could be the sparks from the fuse of a firecracker. However, because the video is related to a real issue not a fake one, I am leaving the video up. 

Apple/iPhone jokes

Q: Why is the Apple still reporting record profits?
A: Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to good technology.

Q: What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone?
A: iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iCameBack, iThinkDifferent, iMac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, iPad, iCloud, iRIP

Q: Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
A: They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!

Q: How many Apple Iphone early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of any useful features!

Q: Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
A: Everyone at Apple are crying their i's out!

It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls. (Saturday Night Live)

Steve Jobs‘ funeral will be held next week, after which he will be reburied every six months in a slightly better coffin. (Twitter)

10 commandments for Apple fanbois

10 commandments followed by all Apple Fanbois everywhere in the world

1. Thou shall publicly denounce Flash whenever possible.
2. Thou shall proclaim 3.5" to be the perfect screen size.
3. Thou shall not compare features with an Android device.
4. Thou shall proclaim all features unnecessary if they are not on your iCrap.
5. Thou shall spout foaming hate at all Android users.
6. Thou shall not miss any chance to point to the world "It's a sexy device!" about  your iCrap.
7. Thou shall think of "replaceable battery" as the work of the devil.
8. Thou shall not use logic to evaluate thy iCrap device.
9. Thou shall consider it a privilege to pay shitload of money to buy obsolete technology.
10. Thou shall always reply to an Android users' boasts with "I don't need that feature!"

Stop SOPA - Freedom of speech is more important than corporate greed.

Adding my support to Wikipedia, Reddit and other sites protesting SOPA today on 18th January 2012 I have decided to add this banner to my blog as my own protest.

More information here: http://viewpointsofasagittarian.blogspot.com/2012/01/anti-sopapipa-blackout.html

Wikipedia going dark on Wednesday!

Yes, this is not a joke. In protest of the Internet censorship bill SOPA, Wikipedia community had decided to make the website offline for 24-hours. Anyone who uses the internet knows how popular and how valuable Wikipedia is when you want answers to casual questions or research queries.

If it is going to affect your work, you can take steps so you don't lose access to the massive knowledge-base. Just Google "Offline wiki" and you will find several solutions to download the entire content of the Wikipedia to your personal device. These solutions are available on various platforms from Android to Windows. I think it's a good idea to have an offline Wikipedia anyway for those moments when you are not hooked up to the internet.

More information on the link below:
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/technology/2012/01/wikipedia-go-dark-wednesday/47467/

Sign Into Your Google Account on Public Computers Without Typing Anything

This is why I love Google. Absolutely ingenious and so useful. I have just tested it, from my own computer of course, but it works like a charm. Amazing!

http://lifehacker.com/5876559/sign-into-your-google-account-on-public-computers-without-typing-anything?popular=true

Bullshit Omniscience Principle

This is a principle that I have come up with. In says that like God, "Bullshit is everywhere." Let me elaborate.

You must be familiar with the old quote, “It’s love that makes the world go round.” Some jaded people hold the view that “It’s money, not love, that makes the world go round.” Actually both are wrong.

 

My principle, Bullshit Omniscience Principle, says that "It’s not Love and it’s not Money, it’s the Bullshit that makes the world go round. If it weren’t for the bullshit that we constantly hand each other the civilization as we know it would cease to exist."

I know, I know, you are not convinced yet. I will prove it with examples from real life. But before that, let's define what constitutes bullshit. I'd say that anything which you say but don't mean, all the half-truths, all the white lies, all the things you say just to please someone...etc. etc. that's all bullshit. 

So when you go visit a friend couple and see their child for the first time, the first words out of your mouth are, "Oh, he's sooo cute! Cho chweet!", even when you are thinking, "God, they can use HIS photo to scare Gabbar Singh!". Bullshit! 

When you meet a friend's wife or girlfriend for the first time, afterwards you tell him, "Shefali seemed really nice!" Bullshit. Actually you were thinking, "Such a control freak! She's going to make his life a living hell. And doesn't he see those teeth or what?"

When ladkewale talk to the bride's father at the planning stage they always say, "We don't want anything..." Bullshit! They think the bride's father will give them more than they can ask for. 

When you are sitting in front of the interviewer for the job, your words are and I quote, "I don't worry about overtime, the work should be finished." But after you get the job, you make sure if you enter the office at 9:01 then you leave by 17:01 not 17:02 even if you have to shut down everything 20 minutes in advance. And any day when India is playing Pakistan is a day for you to fall sick. 

The interviewer is no fool either, he's paddling his own bullshit. "Our company has an excellent employee growth program.." when he's really thinking, "Yes, we will give you a score of C+ on appraisal and give you a 3% raise or tell you to go find another job." 

This is even more interesting in the case of girl candidates. She would serve up some bullshit wrapped up in nice words, "I am very focused on my career, I am hard-working, a team player and totally dedicated to my work." When actually, she's thinking, "My father is looking for a boy for me, as soon as the engagement is done, I will be out of here so fast there will be a hole in the air."

And the interviewer is thinking, "So what if she doesn't know anything about automation and answered 7 of the 10 questions wrong. She's cute, at least there will be some good-looking faces around here, the male-to-female ratio in the testing team is already so pathetic!" 

The examples are too many and time too little. But let's take one more. 

You are on a date with a beautiful girl with a figure like your favourite bollywood goddess. You say, "My god, you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen!" Bullshit! You were looking at boobs, you don't even know what colour her eyes are! 

On the other hand, she is saying, "Awww, you are so sweet!" but thinking, "Thank god, I Googled him before coming on this date. If he didn't make so much money, I'd out of here like a scared rabbit...what a geek!"

Okay, I must stop here, as you can see there is absolutely no shortage of examples from our real life and I think I have made my point now. 

Let me summarize by saying that bullshit is the lubrication that keeps the wheels of the civilization turning smoothly, it's the glue that holds this world together. In fact if there's one thing that separates us from the Neanderthals it's our capacity to paddle bullshit all day, every day, ad infinitum. 

But you know, if you want some no-bullshit material you can always come read my blog. ;)