Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Baba Ke VIP Bhakt



Scene: Baba Ka Darbar. Bhakt log are sitting. Two cute sanyasins flanking baba on either side assisting as bhakts come one by one and narrate their problems.

Sanyasin 1: Baba Sah Rukh Khan aaye hain aapki sharan mein.

Baba: Oh, Junior Amitab Bachchan? Haan, haan, bulao.

SRK: B…b..baba, p...p…p..pranam!

Baba: Abe pranaam bhi kistoN mein karega? Kabhi to passenger chhod kar express pakad liya kar.

SRK: B…b…baba, main samjha nahin.

Baba: Arre itna samajhdar hota toh kya Asoka jaisi filmein banata phirta? Chal khair kya samasya hai?

SRK: B..b..baba, meri filmein chal nahin rahi hain kuchh upaay batayein kaisi film banaoon?

Baba: Abe, Don ki copy tune kallee, Devdas tune bana lee, ab Maine Pyar Kiya ki copy kal_ley.

SRK: B..b..baba, ye aap kaise bol rahehain?

Sanyasin1: Baba ko Akshya Kumar syndrome hai.

Sanyasin2: Baba jab aavesh mein aa jaate hain toh Dilli-6 ki bhaasha mein baat karne lagte hain.

SRK:. Oh, par B…b…b…aba, main kya karoon jo meri film hit ho jaaye. Meri 4 filmein pit chuki hain.

Baba: Arre mere slow motion ke Dilip Kumar, jab tu 30 second ke dialogue ko ghaseet-ghaseet ke, ghaseet-ghaseet ke 3 minute mein bolega to public to bore ho hi jayegi na? Aur kaam nahin hai kya logoN ko?

SRK: T…t…t..toh kya karoon, Baba. Main aapki Sharan mein aaya hoon.

Baba: Theek hai. Apne Android phone mein ek app download kar…

SRK: Ba….ba, Android phone toh hai nahin.

Baba shouts: Arre bahar nikalo isko!

Two mustande sanyasi grab SRK by the arms.

SRK screams: Khareed loonga, baba, khareed loonga!

Baba signals. The sanyasi’s leave SRK.

Baba: App download kar, it’s called “Nana Patekar Speech Therapy.” Practice kar, speed level mein aa jayegi, phir movie bana aur aish kar.

SRK: J..j…jai ho baba ki!

Sanyasin1 & 2: Android wale baba ki…
Bhakt crowd: JAI!

Sanyasin 1: Baba, Amit ji aaye hain.

Baba: Haan bulao lamboo ko. Haan bhai, aa jao, wo naariyal ka ped hai dekho sir na lage, bachaakar aa jao.

AB(Read this in Kuldeep Dubey version of AB): Baba! Baba ki jai ho. Baba meri madad karein. Main badi mushkil mein hoon, baba. Meri popularity kam hoti ja rahi hai, koi film mein nahin le raha, baba.

Baba: Arre mere chalte phirte khajoor ke ped, pehle to tumne Kaun Banega Crorepati, Kaun Banega Crorepati kehte kehte khud apne aap ko hi crorepati bana liya aur duniya ko choona laga diya..phir tumne Abhishek ko Bharat ki bholi-bhaali janta par chhod diya…usko baad 70 logoN ke sapno ki rani Aishwarya ko ghar le gayi..kitne dil tod diye..aur ab aaye ho ki baba log pooch nahin rahe hain, hyen?

AB: Baba, wo to bas ho gaya, buri sohbat mein pad gaya tha, baba. Aap ki sharan mein aaya hoon, baba, kuchh madad keejiye. Ab aap hi uddhaar kar sakte hain.

Baba: Hmmm…to sun. Saat somvaar subah saat baje Google ke blog par comment likh. Likh ke tu filmi duniya se sanyaas le raha hai…

AB: Baba?!

Baba: Shaant! Aathwein somwaar baba khud comment karenge ki tu sanyaas mat le, filmi duniya ko teri zaroorat hai. Tab to cancel kar dena. Baba ka haath tere sar par aa jayega, popularity apne aap badh jayegi.

AB: Baba! Baba aap mahaan hain! Baba ki jai…

Sanyasin 1 & 2: Android wale baba ki….

Bhakt crowd: JAI!!

6 comments:

IRFANUDDIN said...

"Baba: Shaant! Aathwein somwaar baba khud comment karenge ki tu sanyaas mat le, filmi duniya ko teri zaroorat hai. Tab to cancel kar dena. Baba ka haath tere sar par aa jayega, popularity apne aap badh jayegi.".... this is really a nice take on the happenings around....

BTW Baba ki koi Mahila VIP bhakt hai to uske bhi darshan karwaao...... :P

Always Happy said...

Sunil, this is soooooooooooooooooooooooo funny. I dont know how you come up with such hiarious posts? OMG!! I am ROFL.

I could recollect kuldeep dubey style in which AB wud have spoken to baba. Perfect!!

Saath Somwaar ko subah saath baje blog par comment likho...OMG!! how did that come to you. Genious.

One VERY GOOD read for me.

Baba ki Jai ho!!!!! Jai ho!!!!

Sunil Goswami said...

Irfan ji, I am glad you liked the post. Baba sun kar prasann honge. Baba ki personality aisi hai ki unki mahila bhakta purush bhakton se zyada hain..samay aane par aapki mulkaat unse bhi karayee jaayegi. :)

Sunil Goswami said...

AH, thanks for your comment. I am so glad to hear that you were ROFL.

I think I have to give credit to Irfan for this one. It was on his request that I had the idea to do another post on Baba otherwise the first one was the one and only post as I had intended.

That saath somwar thing was of course an idea that came to me at 7 O'clock in the morning while walking on the station platform. :)

Thanks again for your lovely comment.

IRFANUDDIN said...

don't be so kind man.... its all ur credit undoubtedly.... you are quicker than my thoughts in putting this post here..... well done.

Sunil Goswami said...

Ifran ji, I do not hesitate in taking credit when I deserve it, but also I believe in giving credit where it's due. I was done with Baba with the first post, which incidently AH inspired. But, when you requested to see more on Baba, I had the fresh idea for the post. :)

And thank you.

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