Thursday, March 10, 2011

Android Waale Baba Ki...


Year: 2069 AD
Place: Baba Sunilanand ka ashram

Baba ke bhakt (more women than men) holographic ghaas par apne-apne PIACS (Personal Information And Communication System, much advanced and portable version of laptop) liye baithe hain. Aashram ki rooftop par badi si dish lagi hai. Wifi signal is strong. Kaune-kaune mein mobile charging points bane hue hain.

Baba ke aane ka sanket hota hai. Bhakt apne PIACS par jalte diyon aur agarbattiyon ka holographic display chaloo kar dete hain.

Baba Geruye rang ke suit mein andar se nikal kar aate hain...

"Baba, Sunilanand ki.."
Crowd shouts, "JAI!"

"Bolo Android waale baba ki..."
"JAI!!"

Somebody plays "Jai ho, ho, ho!" on his device. Kuchh yuvtiyan ek do thumke lagaati hain, then stop.

Baba aasan par sthaan grihan karte hain. Baba ke handsome, tejwaan chere ko dekhkar kuchh yuvtiyaan aah bharti hain. Baba ke kaan mein advanced bluetooth v51.0 ka handsfree laga hai. It can hook up with baba's mobile phone, read his email from his PC, connect to the Ashram PA system wirelessly and is thought-activated. Saath mein machchhar bhagaane ka kaam bhi karta hai.

Baba pravchan aarambh karte hain.

Baba uvaach:
"Bhakto, we are living in difficult times. Microsoft has announced 267th security breach in their operating system last night. We must keep patience. It will pass.

Bhakto, samay bada kathin hai, achchhe log kubudhi ka shikaar hokar apna maansik santulan kho rahe hain. Jis par Apple ki mahadasha chal rahi hai usse sirf Google hi bacha sakta hai.

Apne man mein Google ka jaap karo aur achche, sundar (baba looks at the front row which is full of beautiful bhaktins), vichaar rakho.

Ab question answer."


Ek bhakt aage aata hai, "Baba, naya PIACS liya hai, Windows ka kaun sa version install karoon?"

There's a gasp from the bhakts around him.

Baba uvaach, "Windows nahin, baalak, Google Chrome OS 17.3 install karo. Tumhara kalyaan hoga."

Another bhakt asks piteously, "Baba, MacBook Pro ek week mein teesri baar crash hua hai. Kuchh upaay bataayein, baba."

Baba nods solemnly, "Tum par Apple bhaari hai, beta. Chrome PIACS 5 mein invest karo. Sab theek ho jayega."

There is a commotion in the back. Some disciples come forward dragging another bhakt by the collar. They throw him down in front of Baba's aasan. His device is clutched defensively in his hands. It's showing a Microsoft logo on the screen.

"Baba, he had Windows Vistaria installed on his device!" They shout accusingly.

Baba raises his hand and looks up to the sky, "Forgive him, O divine Cloud, he does not know what he is doing."

There's a puff of smoke, 3.9 seconds later, when the smoke clears the Microsoft logo has been replaced by Google logo on the man's device. There's a collective gasp in the crowd.

The accusing disciples shout vehemently, "Baba ki..." "JAI!"

"Android waale baba ki..."
"JAI!!"

Baba smiles softly.

Baba stands, two bhaktins stand on either side of Baba, Aarti starts, "...Red, green aur yellow ki mahima jo koi gaave..."

6 comments:

Always Happy said...

hahahaha...that is so hilarious Sunil. Baba ki jai ho

Sunil Goswami said...

Thanks, AH. Glad you liked it. Tumhara kalyan ho.

Sagar Goswami said...

Hi chachu,

You locked our mouth, I don't know what to say on this hilarious act.
That was really enjoyable.

I want to share this video with this post, I'm sure you'll like it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgn0J6f4eyQ&feature=related

and aap bhi koi Shishya rakh lo like "Chutkuleshwar" I really enjoyed your post.

IRFANUDDIN said...

hahhaaaa.... kya baat.. kyaa baat... kyaa baat....

really enjoyed the read....

baba ki jai ho.... isi tarah ache post ke darshan karaate rahiye baba.... :D

Sunil Goswami said...

Sagar, I have seen that episode before. I have seen the whole "Teen ka Tadka" season. It was good.

And thanks, glad you liked it.

Sunil Goswami said...

Irfan ji, zarra-nawazi ka shukriya. Aapki hausla-afzai ke hote lagta hai baba se phir mulakaat hogi. :)

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