Wednesday, January 11, 2012

So the Apple customer rep said...

On the afternoon of 23rd December 2011, start of Christmas weekend, I went to an electronics store with a friend of mine, Currys, if you must know. This friend was in the market for a tablet and even though he had asked my advice, I knew he was the type who'd deliberate for months and then fall prey to Apple's marketing. But I went with him anyway, it's fun in itself for me to roam an electronics store with all those gadgets and devices around. I love to just browse there.

I should mention that I was wearing the tshirt that you see in the picture.

While looking over the iPads (it does sound like a sanitary napkin when said like that) we ran across the in-store customer representative from Apple. I had forgotten about the tshirt but he of course, noticed it.

So, he asked me if I didn't like Apple. I said, "No, I just love Apple. iCrap is my favourite crap in the world." He didn't get it.

I have noticed that the Apple people or even most fanbois don't directly say that Android sucks or it's bad or anything, they start something like, "Android is really great, some of my best friends are Android users, but...". Yes, they are sneaky about it lest someone discover their secret that they have sold their sole to Apple.

That's how this guy started, "Android is good, but it's become too fragmented now. Everybody is coming out with an Android device."

I swear to you I was not looking for an argument! Mainly because I have realized this tendency in me to jump down the throat of anyone who pulls out an iPhone in front of me or says that it's a good device. Also, my friend knew that I am a jumper-down-the-throat and he was watching me, waiting for me to pull out my bazooka and blow this guy away. I could almost hear him thinking, "Okay he talks so much in the office about this crap, always badmouthing Apple, let's see if he can stand up to an actual Apple guy." Because everybody knows that marketing guys are fast-talkers and they have all the facts about their devices and all the weaknesses of the competition.

Because of this I was trying to stay civilized and let the Apple guy live. But he continued. He (the Apple rep)  asked for my opinion! It was like he had a deathwish! So I replied to one of his comments. He replied and then...I had to shut him up. It's a shame I didn't record the conversation but I had no idea it would be long, I was going to "walk away from the conflict". Honest, I was trying to spare him.

Even though I didn't record the conversation and don't remember all of it, I remember a few major points that he tried to make, like, "It's all about the user experience. Nobody goes and says if they have a good experience with a phone, you only hear the problems..." I told him that's not true. He countered, "Who goes and says that they like a phone."
"I do."
"You go and point out the positive things about your phone?"
"Yes." He looked incredulous so I added, "Do you want a URL to my blog?"
He, prudently, declined that offer.

Not only is that true (anyone can read my reviews of my phones on this blog) but iPhones users very often gush about their phone how they love it. That's my guff with them, the company tries to hush up the problems.

I agreed with him that's all about the experience, "If your phone's battery dies, me, I can go buy a 10 quid replacement battery and be up and running, but you will have to send the whole phone to Apple and pay a big amount to get it replaced. If your battery has never died on you, this won't matter to you. If one time the battery dies on you, you will always curse the non-replaceable battery."

He had no choice but to agree.

He mentioned that iPhone was simple, not everybody was good with these devices. I laid a trap for him, "So you are saying that Apple devices are made for the technologically challenged?"
He didn't see it, walked right into the trap "Yes." I insulted his whole userbase in one sweeping statement and he agreed with me!

In "The Big Bang Theory" the main characters who are these genius scientists often talk about "Apple's devaluation of the word Genius" because apparently Apple store employees are terms "Apple Genius" in US. While talking to this guy I could see what Sheldon and Leonard mean.

After a rest he came back with his favourite, "But Android has become so fragmented now."
Now that the guns were drawn I didn't let it pass, "It's not called fragmented", I told him, "It's called taking the market by storm, it's called pissing on Apple!" I pointed to the tshirt.

He gave me a sheepish grin and shut up!

So, think about it, even a paid customer representative cannot defend the crap that Apple makes, what good is it then? Anybody else want to take me on?


sagar goswami said...

Fantastic !!!

Bikramjit said...

:) i liked the reply


Sunil Goswami said...

@Sagar, Thanks. :)

@Bikram, Mine or his? LOL.

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