Marriages are made in heaven?

Warning: If you have a reason to believe in the sanctity of the institution of marriage, do not read this post. If you still read this post after this warning and take offence, you cannot sue me!

So, with that said let’s get into it. But first a couple of sentences to explain why I said that. In the past, other than jokes and videos, I have always tried to post things that boggle my mind or that I think would make you think. And while doing this I have always tried to be nice and considerate. Now I have run out of all those topics. Now, I am going to start pissing people off by saying what I want to say and to hell with the world. Yes, I said “hell”.

“Marriages are made in heaven!”, you must have heard that about a million times already. But in reality, the only people who believe in that fall in two categories – one, whose livelihood depends on marriages, a ready example is the religious contractors – the priests of all religions. In the other category falls the poor sap who doesn’t want to say “…because the condom broke!” so he chants, “Marriages are made in heaven.”

What happens to this heavenly marriage when he’s working extra hours at the office, just so he doesn’t have to go home and she’s stocking up on vodka to keep herself sane? No, if marriages were made in heaven, the happiest people would be married couples. But we all know the reality.

I say, God doesn’t want people to get married. And I have evidence to prove that. People are born single. And they die alone. If God wanted people to be married he’d arrange things so that it would be clear who’s going to marry whom. People would be born with numbers or birth marks or something. He’s omnipotent, he can do it! But he doesn’t. If he wanted people to stay married he’d pick up both husband and wife at the same time and not leave their bereaved partner behind.

My question is – if marriages are made in heaven, then divorces, extra-marital affairs and unhappy marriages, where are these made? In some place between heaven and hell?

If marriages were made in heaven, divorce lawyers would starve.