Thursday, November 25, 2010

I hate "I hate love stories" (Movie Review)

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you'd know that only two types of movies inspire me to write a review the ones I love and want people to see, and the ones I absolutely hate and want to save everybody else's time.

Let me say that this one was a struggle to watch it to the finish. I finished it only so I could write a fair review otherwise I was sick of it in about 20 minutes from the starting point.

I am going to tear it apart piece by piece.

Story: With a title like that you'd expect the movie to be a love story and it is. This predictability continues right through the movie to the end. It's a formula film without nothing new to offer in the way of story or creativity. It's chock-full of cliche'd situations that are right out of a movie-making text book. 

Plot twists: There are lots of twists in the story, but none that a 5-year old bollywood fan cannot write all out in advance. You give this kid the basic layout of the film and he or she would be able to write down the whole plot in detail. Here's the basic setup - the hero is an assistant director who hates making love stories and works for a director who makes only love stories. The heroine makes sets for these love stories, has a steady, parents-approved boyfriend. I am sure you can predict the climax. 

The Cast: In lead roles are Imran Khan and Sonam Kapoor. Both absolute failures. Hindi film heroes used to be selected for their macho personality, then came the chocolatey heroes who had good looks, this guy has nothing. His dialogue delivery makes me want to jump off a skyscraper (as long as I can land on his head). Sonam Kapoor looks pretty in revealing, western type clothes, in normal clothes she looks absolutely ordinary, very lacklustre and not worth being a heroine. Actually I have seen sexier extras in Bollywood movies. Her dialogue delivery is better than the hero but still nothing to clap and dance about.

Hero's friend, Kunal, I don't know his real name, a bearded fat guy whose only job is to give the hero bad advice, is a better actor than Imran Khan but has been cursed with bad dialogue.

The character I liked best was the director that the hero works for. He's an actor who does character roles like husband, son, businessman etc..this is a different role for him and he's done justice to it.

Dialogues: I strongly suspect that all the dialogues have been stolen and translated from Hollywood movies,
maybe all from a single movie or from several different ones. It's easy to see when you see the kind of humour that is used in American sitcoms. You can predict the punchline of most jokes.

Narration: There is an ongoing narration throughout the film in the voices of the hero and heroine, God knows why, because it doesn't add anything to the movie, isn't necessary at all and is most of the time very annoying.

Music: Music is normal, no soul-searing melodies here. And the lyrics are the same psuedo-poetic type that are common in new movies in Bollywood and for which I look down on the English pop music. The songs always slow down the story without exception and the lyrics make me want to puke.

Climax: No big surprises there, after an airport scene, they get together.

Conclusion: If you respect yourself, stay away from it.

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