Once upon a time there used to be an old radio show on Vividh Bharti called Hawa Mahal. It used to feature a 15 minutes comedy drama every night. It was our prime source of entertainment. One night there was a comedy drama consisting of an argument between a woman and a man over the ownership of a chicken. After the program was over, my sister who was a few years older than me (come to think of it she still is!) suggested to me, "Come on, let's fight just like those people!" It sounded like fun to enact a drama so I said okay. I was about 3-4 years old I think.
She started, "Ye meri murghi hai, meri murghi, samjhe? Meri murghi!" ("It's my chicken, my chicken, ok? My chicken!" )
And I said, "Teri hai to tu le le, behan, lad kyon rahi hai?" ("If it's yours you take it, why are you fighting with me?")
She laughed at my quick surrender and that was the end of my career as a radio actor.
But I never was one to launch into a conflict easily. I was reminded of that old incident today when a friend whom I like very much suddenly said, "Okay, let's fight!"
You see, we are good friends, but we have our moments when I say something and she takes it otherwise or she says something and I don't take it in the spirit in which it was meant. So we have an occasional misunderstanding which leads to one or both of us saying sorry later. We had had a couple of those occasions last week and suddenly today on chat she says, "Let's fight!"
Silly me. I agreed with her. And we launched into this not-so-real-not-so-fake fight. All the time she was typing her grievances against me, I was replying in kind, but I could not help laughing all this time. It was good that this was on chat and she couldn't see me grinning. Needless to say that I lost the fight.
But then suddenly she made a mistake. She smiled! And just like that the fight was over! :) I have to admit it was a good exercise to air the grievances without jeopardizing our friendship.
I think it's important to remember that in fighting with a friend, a smile is your best weapon!
Moral of the story: When you don't mind losing the fight you know you have found a real friend!
4 comments:
Ah Sunil I can can see you have been very wise from a very young age...I earlier I used to get into conflicts because I tried to convince others of my POV....these days I'm wiser...I just express my POV without forcing it down other people's throat...that's the advantage of blogging too...
lol lolz @ She started, "Ye meri murghi hai, meri murghi, samjhe? Meri murghi!" ("It's my chicken, my chicken, ok? My chicken!" )
And I said, "Teri hai to tu le le, behan, lad kyon rahi hai?" ("If it's yours you take it, why are you fighting with me?")
Overall the post made for an interesting read. :-)...but this is the first time I'm hearing of pre planned pre scheduled fights..I hope you do more of this slice of life kinda posts
So true Sunil. I wouldnt mind losing to my real friend. That way any way I win, not the fight but my friend.
I like the idea of 'let's fight'. YOu are right. I think it enables you to let out the steam without hurting each other or jeopardizing your friendship.
Very nice post.
Btw, I cant believe two things in this post. First, did you seriously surrender readily to your sis? That is quite unlike brothers.
Second, when your friend was letting out her grievances against you, were you seriousy replying in kind?? again that is quite unlike boys. Because when the firends fight in real (outside of chat world I mean), boys resort to pulling 'choti', and twisting girls' arms during such fights. So I am assuming while fighting on the chat world, boys must reply back something like 'badi aayi', 'ja dekh loonga tujhe' etc etc...nahi?
Overal, This is a very nice post.
Ritu, I don't know if I was wise or not, maybe not, esp. as I did fight with me sister in the later years, but I was always averse to conflicts, still am, I'd rather discuss in a sane, rational manner than raise my voice. Even today, if I had to engage in hostilities with someone I'd rather severe diplomatic relations than get involved in a shooting match. But that's just my preference, I have engaged in fights before and sometimes it's necessary to fight for something worthwhile.
But I think pre-planned fights could be very useful as a conflict resolution tool in any relationship. I am not a shrink so I won't try to be an authority on it, but from what I have seen of shrinks on TV, they also use tools like this to let the people let out steam so they can initiate a proper dialogue.
I will try to do more of the slice of life kind of posts now that I know that my readers like it. :)
AH, fights are an integral part of any relationship, like it or not. So, it's better to have pre-planned ones than real ones.
Hehe, well, in that particular one I did fold very quickly, but I was very young. Later I learnt that that was no way to live life and stood up to her even in real fights. But then that's what siblings do.
Oh yes, I had my grievances and I let her know those, otherwise it'd defeat the purpose of the fight.
LOL...yes, I am not above pulling a choti or using a threat like "dekh loonga" but it's all in fun. Thankfully, I have been blessed with some awesome friends and the fights are usually only in play otherwise none.
hmmm... it takes real maturity to not let fake fight turn into real ones
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