Monday, March 19, 2007

Home? Where is home?

Home? Where is home?

"Musafir hoon yaaro, na ghar hai na thikana,
Mujhe chal-te jaana hai, bas chalte jaana."

These were the lines I used in a phone conversation with my brother as I
was killing time on the Bombay airport waiting for my flight time which
was 2 AM.

Unlike the poet of that song, I have homes, more than one and I am not
ashamed to admit that I am bewildered as I try to understand my feelings
about it all and try to define the concept of 'home' for myself.

This was the first time I lived in a foreign land for so long at a
stretch AND then went home for a vacation. I mean, 3 times I have been
to US with the longest stretch being 10 Months but I had no household
there that I left behind. It was always a new place that I had to find
even though I went to the same city and same office. Germany was the
same. But this time I lived in the UK for 6 months, left my house as it
was, and went home to India.
Even as I was leaving I was thinking about coming back and how I would
really like to come back 'home'. But at the same time, at that very
instant, I was also very glad that I was going 'home' and I was looking
forward to a lot of things.

I had a lot of fun, every day, every moment that I was home I enjoyed it
immensely! I did do and have everything that I wanted to, and it was
just as good as I had imagined, if not better.
And still, I was missing my life here, my home here and not just the
broadband connection, which I did get in Delhi.

When I came back to UK, I was looking forward to unlocking the door of
my rented house and taking charge again. But the moment I entered my
living room I loved the feeling of being 'home' and at the same time
felt lonelier than I have ever felt before in all my life! It felt like
I had left India far behind, with my family and friends all so remote
and unapproachable. I hadn't felt this alone even when I came here the
first time to a strange country!

Go figure!


LP said...


after having traveled some and having faced life some,I have come to some conclusions... (1) Home is where you are, at any given point in time. If you consider that, then you'll be comfortable all your life, everywhere, and do the most productive amount of work with a relaxed feel.

(2) Family is anyone who makes you feel the relation at a given point. There have been times when I've wished for an elder brother's help, and someone who was not my biological brother has helped me and been around to an extent that probably my brother would not have been able to do. I have had moments where I've received the most precious gems of fatherly advised from someone unrelated. At that point, if you have the same respect for them that you have for your own people, then you will make use of that moment and that advise to the best possible, and derive something very positive from it.

Just as people enter your life for a reason; a season; or a life time, even places you visit are either a temporary haven or find a permanent place in your heart. Apart from obvious transit spots, only time can tell which is going to be your long term main base station.

Sunil Goswami said...

Hi LP,

Thanks for your comment.

It seems like you must be at least 100 years old to have come to that pearl of wisdom. Just kidding, I know some people learn more and quickly from life. For all I know, you may be just 80. :)

Seriously, that is better and more sensible response that I could have hoped for. You are absolutely right of course, I believe in relations of the heart more than those of the blood and this philosophy gives me a right to be happy and contented anywhere I am in the world. :-) Thank you.

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